Ask JSBach, All JSBach Threads(Guides) can be found here. Options

[wingwong]

Update 3 - Title Changed

Update 2 - I decided to put all of JSBach's threads on the first post to make it much easier for you all to find them.

15 ARTICLES - COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE FOR GUYS DURING COURTSHIP
http://asianfanatics.net/forum/index.php?showtopic=548350

12 ARTICLES - COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE FOR GIRLS DURING COURTSHIP

http://asianfanatics.net/forum/index.php?s...p;#entry5100896

EIGHT ARTICLES - HOW TO FAKE BEING A PLAYER WHEN YOU'RE NOT ONE (YET)

http://asianfanatics.net/forum/index.php?s...p;#entry5066965

SIX ARTICLES - EXPLORING THE MALE ID

http://asianfanatics.net/forum/index.php?s...p;#entry4771948

TWELVE ARTICLES - HOW TO BECOME A CONFIDENT (PLAYERISH) GUY!

http://asianfanatics.net/forum/index.php?s...p;#entry4620133

TEN COMMON MYTHS GIRLS BELIEVE ABOUT COURTSHIP/DATING

http://asianfanatics.net/forum/index.php?s...p;#entry4503051

TWELVE COMMON THINGS GUYS DO TO SCREW UP WITH GIRLS

http://asianfanatics.net/forum/index.php?showtopic=404986

TWELVE WAYS FOR GIRLS TO IMPROVE HER CHANCES WITH GUYS

http://asianfanatics.net/forum/index.php?showtopic=412108

NINE ARTICLES ON HOW TO GET GIRLS TO CHASE YOU, The series ends! 9. Tomorrow will be a new day

http://asianfanatics.net/forum/index.php?s...t&p=4478709

Update - I decided I should put up important things that JSBach tells us on the first post.

ATTENTION:

Like on my other threads, if anyone asks:

- "what is he thinking?"
- "does he like me?"
- "how does he feel about me?"

From this point forth, these questions will generate this automatic standard reply:

Nobody knows what he's thinking. This is Asianfanatics forum, not a psychic forum. Your job is to reduce his risk so that he would gain enough confidence to ask you out or show definite signs of affection. All people are afraid of rejection. So the less risk he feels, the more likely he'll ask. You reduce his risk by showing signs you're interested. So take a risk, play your best game, reduce his risk...and hope for the best.

Not to be mean or a smart-ass, but NOBODY CAN READ MINDS!!! C'mon people!!

OK, I will answer ALLLLLLLL questions! Under a few conditions:

- No personal questions
- Don't ask stuff simply to provoke or prolong a spamish fight (you know who you are)
- No "does he like me" questions (they will be answered with my standard copy/paste response)

Thank You MR JSBACH <3

As you can see JSBach is willing to answer your questions. So feel free to ask him under his conditions.

If you do not know who is JSBach, he is considered to be a courtship/dating expert who has written several articles for Asian Fanatics.

P.S. Where do I send you your cookies? Mr JSBach.

This post has been edited by MoonlightD: Apr 10 2009 6 45 AM

Reason for edit: Topics are now only locked and closed after 2000 posts except in the Chilling Lounge (1000 posts). :)

[JSBach]

^ I think you'll just have to accept the fact that you won't be good-looking to all people.

A girl can say "I think you're hot". Another girl can say "I think you're fugly". Both are right.

[Guest_Guest_*]

Does this show lower value/inability to control emotions etc? There's this guy (I'm a guy btw) who's a sort of friend, but can be irritating sometimes. He's one of those beta males who try to be alpha by bragging and putting others down with nonchalant remarks. When he does that to be "better" than me, I tend to show irritation by acting cold, giving short answers and spitting sarcastic remarks. Today for example, in front of a girl, he was bragging about how he wrote 3 pages for our group project whilst me and my friend wrote 1 each so far. I was like "so....? You c/ped everything" and he denied it. So I read out his stuff in front of the girl and went "you speak like that?" with a disbelieving tone and facial expression. After saying that twice he was like, "k...I c/ped it. But I changed some words." So to sum it up, I ended up humiliating him somewhat. Does the act of doing that demonstrate lower value or anything?

[JSBach]

It's really hard to say. By you trying to "defeat" this guy, she might think you're lowering yourself to his level of pettiness.

People can usually tell if someone's a braggart. Even if you didn't prove him wrong, I'm sure the girl knows it. Girls detect bragging far more subtly than guys.

There are actually three types of males:

Alpha males - leaders
Beta males - regular guys
Omega males - losers who try to be alphas

He's an omega. The best way to deal with Omegas is to ignore them and act cold towards them. The more you just ignore him, the more alpha you seem and the more omega he seems. Alpha males don't fight omega males. Alpha males simply ignore omega males.

This post has been edited by JSBach: Nov 6 2009 1 37 PM

[Guest_Guest rain_*]

I believe I'm a good looking guy and have had many girls compliment me on my appearance. However, if someone was to insult me about my looks, whether it was serious or just a joke, I wouldn't be able to take it. It shakes my confidence and it'd take be a day or so to get over it. Any ideas?

If you are really good looking like you believe yourself to be and even many girls compliment on your appearance so how could your confidence be so easily shaken when someone insult you on your look even if it was a serious comment? So you want the whole world to tell you that you are good looking? Are you OK or not?

[Guest_Miikka_*]

DEAR js

You know how you sometimes attract girls that you didn't like?
For example : I've met this girl this year and I wasn't at all attracted to her, but she was a friend of a freinds and shes also in my art class, so I subconciously started flirting. And now she shows 3 IoI's.

So basically my REAL question is how do i reverse that so I can do the same to the girls I'm attracted to?

Cuz i have no idea how to deal with this.

[JSBach]

^ That's a great question!

First of all, let's be really honest here. Girls who are not that attractive are easier to attract. The girls whom you're attracted to are probably attractive to other guy too. Hence, these girls have less desperation in their blood.

HOWEVEr, that doesn't mean it's not possible to attract hot chicks or that you need new strategy. It's only slightly more difficult than unattractive ones.

Keep in mind that, antoher reason it's harder to get attractive girls is, you tend to "chase" them. We all do. Our penis makes the decision. When it does, we have that impatient eagerness to chase. Girls are highly perceptive and can detect that. They simply aren't interested in guys who are too easy.

I know this is hard to do -- but you need to treat attractive girls the same as unattractive girls. Don't let her know or even believe you're interested. The key here is NUMBERS. If you play around a lot, you will naturally feel less desperate or eager towards any particular girl. When you genuinely feel less depseration or impatience, it shows in your actions. I promise girls WILL detect this, even the pretty ones. This is why I've always stressed how my advice is not to get a particular girl, but to make you more attractive overall. It's a shame many guys don't get that message and still use my stuff to chase one particualr girl.

[Guest_Miikka_*]

^ are there anything to keep my mind on track so that I can be like that to all girls?
Cuz honestly, its like im doing a final exam and I can't answer the easiest question cuz I get so nervous.

[JSBach]

^ It's gonna require tremendous inner game. I don't think there's a quick strategy. Whenever you feel a compulsion to impress attractive girls, tell yourself not to. Tell yourself that, if you try to impress her, it will have the opposite effect.

[TWNc]

Would it be okay to talk about other people?

[Guest_Miikka_*]

^ It's gonna require tremendous inner game. I don't think there's a quick strategy. Whenever you feel a compulsion to impress attractive girls, tell yourself not to. Tell yourself that, if you try to impress her, it will have the opposite effect.

so basicaly flirt, but dont impress. and always HOPE + DOUBT. gotcha thanks

[JSBach]

^ You got it!

[Guest_Guest_*]

JSBach

you know girls really well

[Guest_Guest_*]

ok so lots of girls have told me and ive overheard girls talk about me being cute, even when they know i can hear them. but, i dont have "real" game, never had a girlfriend, and never even kissed a girl (and no im not socially retarded around girls and no im not a dork).

ive had girls try to hook up with me at parties, but ive rejected every single one of them.
why? because im a self-conscious virgin. im afraid of disappointing, especially since im probably gonna be terrible the first time.

ok so my question is wtf is wrong with me?( other than being a complete pussy)

[JSBach]

^ You've never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl, and you're already thinking about how you'd perform in bed? I think you're just using your sexual inexperience as an excuse for being afraid of vulnerability. After all, hooking up with a girl makes you vulnerable to the possibility of rejection and disappointment.

People who rely on their looks have the most security issues. I think you're relying on yours. In reality, your looks have very little to do with how you perform in courtship. I will not going into details, but their brains are not hard-wired to develop or retain attraction based on your appearance. Rather, her brains are hard-wired to seek guys of "social value", guys who can get along with other people.

Having zero confidence will repel girls, even if she thinks youre "cute". That's why you frequently see cocky butt ugly guys with hot chicks. These guys are wayyyy uglier than you -- but girls prefer them over you. That should prove how you shouldn't rely on your appearance.

There's no quick fix. You have to slowly be in vulnerable positions and risk "looking bad". You don't need to take one monster leap. Just baby steps in the right direction would be fine. I'm reading a book that teaches that, so that I can learn how to cold appraoch a stranger. It's effective becuase it teaches you to inch outside your comfort zone one day at a time.

Remember that, the other party will also have security issues. Girls are OBSESSED over what others think about them. Trust me, they don't spend tons of money and time on their appearance just so they can admire themselves in the mirror. G'luck!

This post has been edited by JSBach: Nov 12 2009 7 30 PM

[Guest_Guest_*]

Assuming a girl is interested, how long will it take for her to become disinterested? Is a week enough? Especially if you act somewhat cold towards her (unintentionally, but cold regardless). I've done that just now. Acted cold and now she's reluctant to open up even when I initiate. She seems kinda irritated that I was cold as well if that amounts for anything and seems to be defending herself from suffering another bout of the cold shoulder by not letting me get close in the first place. Also how long do you reckon it'll take before I can reverse the damage?

[Guest_Guest_*]

right on jsbach, im the guy with the security issues btw...baby steps in the right direction is good no doubt, but im not looking 4 a relationship at the moment (freshman in college). i just wanna bang bang and bang some more.....

but yea ur definitely spot on about the zero confidence stuff. Because ive noticed that girls who are initially attracted to me by looks immediately stop chasing me after A SINGLE SHOWING OF NO CONFIDENCE (im confident in general, but for example after i freaked out ONCE about our partner project, she ignores me) however, there are always those girls who only go for looks

and no ive never seen butt ugly NON-RICH guys "with" hot chicks. like ever.

[OhDamn]

and no ive never seen butt ugly NON-RICH guys "with" hot chicks. like ever.

I have. Right here in my school. This fat smelly dumb sh*t has a relatively hot gf (nice bod, but face is meh). He's fat, smelly and dumb. So why does she date him? He's also arrogant as f*ck. That's why.

[JSBach]

Assuming a girl is interested, how long will it take for her to become disinterested? Is a week enough? Especially if you act somewhat cold towards her (unintentionally, but cold regardless). I've done that just now. Acted cold and now she's reluctant to open up even when I initiate. She seems kinda irritated that I was cold as well if that amounts for anything and seems to be defending herself from suffering another bout of the cold shoulder by not letting me get close in the first place. Also how long do you reckon it'll take before I can reverse the damage?

Your mistake is that you were "cold". Once you're cold to her, her ego puts up a defense. You can't blame her. Nobody likes being treated that way. But girls also have MASSIVE egos. Getting rejected, being embarassed and "looking bad" during courtship is probably the worst nightmare girls can have. It's even worse if her friends find out. Girls would rather flunk out of high school than get humilated and rejected in a very public way by a guy she liked. That very scary thought causes her to erect a Wall of Weirdness that makes it hard for you to penetrate.

I am not confident you can ever reverse the damage. They are petty and have extremely long memories. You should give her a couple of chances and hope she comes around. But definitely don't chase or get too friendly. Because if you do, she'll think "oh, this guy was so rude and now he's coming around just to play with me because he knows I liked him."

I say, continue to be nice in micro steps. But don't expect anything to come from it.

and no ive never seen butt ugly NON-RICH guys "with" hot chicks. like ever.

I wanna take some of you guys on a field trip someday. Most of you are in high school and probably never been to a trendy night club. A real one, not some BS club for kids that don't serve alcohol.

On this field trip, you will clearly see ugly guys, full of tattoos and attitude, being around mega hot chicks. These guys are dressed like punks, not in expensive suits. Therefore, they're not rich. They don't show up in Ferraris, but in Toyotas or motorcycles. So it's not about the money (although it helps, of course).

The most successful player I've ever personally known was dirt poor Japanese dude who was not particular good-looking. Not ugly, but not "hot" either. I wrote about him on the Sept 30th entry of my blog:

http://jsbachery.blogspot.com/2009_09_01_archive.html

I would never say that looks dont' matter for guys. Of course it does. But it's not a make-or-break issue and there are other ways of compensating, ways that don't involve money.

When people see an ugly dude with a hot chick, the first thought many people have is "oh, he's rich". That's just an assumption based on nothing but pure speculation. How would you possibly know how much $ he has? Instead of saying "he's rich", why not think "well, maybe this dude has serious social skills and has a big penis". Saying "oh, he's rich" is just a lazy way of explaining something away when it conflicts with your assumptions.

This post has been edited by JSBach: Nov 13 2009 11 54 AM

[Guest_helpless_*]

Hello JSBach, I've a problem here.

I feel very insecure abt stepping out of my comfort zone because i dread interacting with ppl who aren't on the same frequency as me. the conversations we have would be so superficial, so dull, and revolve ard topics i'm not interested in. To avoid such awkwardness, i'll take extreme measures to avoid bumping into familiar faces. as a result, ppl have the impression tt i'm a loner who has self-esteem issues and is boring.

I think i've a sense of humour but it's not the typical humour tt everyone enjoys (i.e. many ppl do not appreciate/understand my jokes, only a handful whom are all my closer friends). This makes me feel tt conversations with acquaintances are useless n non-constructive, thus i'm not able to strike close bonds with many ppl.

I even think I suffer frm moderate social anxiety disorder in an environment of unfamiliar faces.

As such, i don't have the chance to portray the best side of me. I really want to make more friends, but i'm afraid i'll give others the impression tt i'm weird because i can't carry on conversations well..

Help me!!

[JSBach]

^^ In my Oct 21st entry of my blog, I talked about once being in your situation -- and the three things I've learned you MUST MUST MUST do to be sociable. Please take a look at it:

http://jsbachery.blogspot.com/2009/10/day-...y-at-party.html

I'll be a little blunt here. You can't have this "I'm so superior" attitude. You shouldn't judge other people's conversations as "superficial" and "dull". Most people indeed enjoy talking about superficial nonsense like celebrities, TV shows, music, gossip, etc. Yes, I find those topics lame too. I'd love to chat about Obama's health care plan instead. But if I want to get along with other young people, I have to engage in topics that interests them. You cannot expect the world to revolve around your special interests. You either do what others do or risk being an outcast.

A lot of people on this forum will tell you to "be yourself" and, somehow, you'd find tons of friends similar to you. Bullsh-t. We can't always be ourselves. Very few people will have your exact interests. We all have to wear different hats to suit whatever social group is around us.

I know this will sound lame, but you have to get a little more "hip". Spend time watching popular TV shows that people watch. Be familiar with the latest celebrity gossip or new cool music. It's not hard. Go to Google News and read its Entertainment stories. It will help familarize you with topics that other people enjoy talking about.

Avoid talking about heavy, political or intellectual stuff. Trust me, I learned the hard way that people don't wanna hang with someone for their intelligence. They will see you as weird. They wanna hang with someone for their coolness and humor instead.

To be sure, we all have social anxiety. It's all about practise. There are some groups of people you won't get along with, no matter what. That's OK. But if you're Asian, you should be able to socialize with other Asians. But to do so, again, you must share other people's interests.

This post has been edited by JSBach: Nov 14 2009 10 37 AM

[Guest_Helpless_*]

^ok thanks JSBach! I'll keep ur advice in mind

[marvelousstyl]

I'm still in high school, so I don't know, maybe girls around this age is just different? I have the Korean pop-star look that every asian girl obsesses over. No, I don't look ridiculously girly like you stereotype them to be. Most people, especially Asians compliment my looks so that's something I excel in. But it's a trend that wherever I go, I attract young Asian girls without interacting with them in any way. It's purely my appearances that attract them and they do go pretty crazy about it. The whole school knows I have this fan club of Asian girls that obsess over me.


You always say looks aren't that big of a deal, but for me, it's such a powerful attractor. But I'm also a pretty sociable guy so maybe that adds to it.

I want your opinion on this. What do you think? Just 16 year old girls being dumb as hell?

[JSBach]

^^ Never once have I said that looks don't matter for guys. I only said that it matters LESS for guys than it does for girls. On this point, I think there is universal agreement. Like I said on post #1258, I wish I can take you younger guys to adult night clubs. You'll see plenty of fugly guys with really hot babes.

If your look works for you, then keep doing it! I do have to say though that once girls get older, they will fall less and less for it. Young girls are highly susceptiable to fads. Right now, long hair K-pop girly guys are "in". Right now, the vampire look is "in" because of the Twilight films. Young girls fall for fads and gimmicks because they want to be the bandwagon, not on the fringes as an indivdual thinker.

Unfortunately for you, these gimmicks will likely not work much longer.

Beginning in their late teens, girls start to wise up. They're looking for someone of value, not someone who uses a gimmick in their appearance. Don't believe me? Take a trip to a university campus. Look at the guys. Think guys are walking around campus looking like a K-pop idol or a vampire? You rarely see them there because it no longer works in attracting girls. Maturity and rationality sets in.

This is why my advice is geared more for college age people. This is also why 80% of my critics are girls aged 13-16. They aren't old enough to know that I'm right.

This post has been edited by JSBach: Nov 16 2009 1 19 AM

[TWNc]

Would it be fine if girls think you like someone else? Not just interested but actually like.
Also, would it be okay to talk about other people or would that come off as petty?

[JSBach]

Would it be fine if girls think you like someone else? Not just interested but actually like.
Also, would it be okay to talk about other people or would that come off as petty?

It's OK if she has a feeling you like someone else...but don't confirm it. PASSION = HOPE + DOUBT means you need a bit of both. If you she knows you like someone else, it'd be all DOUBT and little HOPE. I wouldn't do it.

It's certainly OK to talk about other girls. But don't do it to the point where she suspects you're playing the jealousy card. Cuz if she thinks you're doing it on purpose, she'll think you're playing games and a Wall of Weirdness will descend. This means, an occasional comment is fine. If you dwell on it repeatedly, it's not.

One way to play this well is by praising another girl's appearance. If in the process of talking about another girl, you can say something like "yeah, she's pretty, I'm surprise she doesn't have a boyfriend." Something like this confirms you have a wandering eye, which you NEED to do, but it doesn't confirm you're interested.

A great way to know if it works is if she gets defensive ("no, she's not!") or teasing ("ohhhh you like her, huh?") or she retailiates ("oh, I think that guy is hot"). If it has no impact, she either doesn't like you or she's a great actress.

[Stay]

Hey
If a guy doesn't reciprocate initiating msn conversations, is it in a girl's best interest to continue initiating? How often? Everyday? Will this make her seem too desperate and make him lose more interest, or does it help in staying in the game?

Situation is that he's shown a lot of interest in the past, but I played my cards wrongly and ditched him for another guy (he doesn't know this tho). I'm through with the other guy now but I'm not sure if I'm still in the game with this guy hahhaha

At the moment, he's still showing a little bit of interest (much less compared to before tho), asking if he could have my msn, asking indirectly if I had a boyfriend or not, saying he'll try fly over to japan to meet up with me these coming holidays (I'm going back to visit some rellies).

But yeah he doesn't initiate msn conversations. What do you say JSBach? Should I continue initiating all the msn convos or does that bring me out of the game by seeming to available and annoying? hahah thx =)

Any other tips for raising a girl's value btw? In your threads you've mentioned looks, niceness, sweetness, girlyness, loyalty, being fun

Cheers!^.^

[OhDamn]

Just felt like posting this tip:

Take up origami. Sounds kinda iffy but I started doing it a month or two ago (found an old origami book I had from primary school) and learnt how to make cranes, star boxes and lilies (and some other crap too). Got bored in class. Took a piece of paper and started folding. Girl found it funny/cute that I was making origami (said it didn't seem like something I'd do). Made a lily and gave it to a hot girl (we barely knew each other aside from names) that I was sitting next to. Totally forgot about it and didn't think much of it. Couple of weeks later, she starts talking to me more and mentions the lily and how she still has it. I'm just thinking "wtf...I forgot about that like a minute after I gave it to you" but I start going on about how I've moved on to perfecting cranes that flap properly and making really crap jokes.

Point of the story? Origami is a cheap, easy-to-learn and highly effective way of getting girls. Make them something like a lily in front of them and they think it's cute. Give it to them afterwards and it's like a KO right there. And damn, girls have long memories...aside from this example, I gave a girl chocolate cos I didn't want it and she remembered like 4 weeks after.

This post has been edited by OhDamn: Nov 18 2009 8 03 AM

[Guest_Guest_*]

ok so im wondering if this girl likes my friend (NO, I REPEAT THIS IS NOT ME!! I'm not looking for a relationship and I already have girls chasing me) I've seen your indicator of interest thread, but I'm still not so sure. Ok, so she points out and asks him if "would like to hookup with my friend, shes hot". Then, she teases him to go somewhere where there'll be hot girls.

does she like my friend?

[JSBach]

If a guy doesn't reciprocate initiating msn conversations, is it in a girl's best interest to continue initiating? How often? Everyday? Will this make her seem too desperate and make him lose more interest, or does it help in staying in the game?

Like in baseball, I'd give him three chances. Not only will you seem desperate if you keep persisting, it's pointless. Just accept the fact that the guy isn't interested.

Don't sit around harboring false hopes either. Just read this forum. Even if a guy isn't interested, she would conjure excuses ("oh he's just shy" or "he just doesn't know how to show his feelings"). Uh, no. How about "he's not interested". I don't mean to be so blunt, but girls have to stop kidding themselves.

Any other tips for raising a girl's value btw? In your threads you've mentioned looks, niceness, sweetness, girlyness, loyalty, being fun

Next time you have a bag of M&Ms, eat half of it and give him the other half. Just walk to him and say "hey, I can't finish it", give it and walk. Stuff like that shows you're thoughtful and playful without the mushyiness, seriousiness or weirdness.

The best tip about flirting is to never to expect something in return. Girls are particularly bad at this. They flirt thinking "OK, I've initiated, it's now your turn. You owe me." You cannot keep score.

As for the factors for raising a girl's value, you've pretty much mentioned all of them.

ok so im wondering if this girl likes my friend (NO, I REPEAT THIS IS NOT ME!! I'm not looking for a relationship and I already have girls chasing me) I've seen your indicator of interest thread, but I'm still not so sure. Ok, so she points out and asks him if "would like to hookup with my friend, shes hot". Then, she teases him to go somewhere where there'll be hot girls.

does she like my friend?

The Indicator of Interest list I posted on the Project JSBach thread is very dangerous. That list is only used for a pickup (for someone whom you just met). Lots of things interpreted as an IOI from the list may be displayed during an ordinary course of friendship.

DO NOT USE THAT INDICATOR OF INTEREST LIST FOR ANYTHING OTHER THAN FOR A PICKUP.

In drawn out courtship, you just gotta use some common sense. Ask yourself this simple question: "Is she acting more friendly, eager or aggressive than what is normally required or expected?" Don't resort to shortcuts, simple gestures and signs unless you enjoy wild goose chases.

Ultimately, there is NO WAY I can give you a verdict based on what you've said. As you know, I don't do "does he/she like me" questions.

This post has been edited by JSBach: Nov 18 2009 10 49 AM

[TWNc]

There's a girl that I had no interest in. However, recently I started developing feelings for her. The problem with this is, now I'm beginning to overthink the things I do with her. Any suggestions?

[JSBach]

^ You need to pursue more than one girl if you wanna stop obsessing over one.

For guys, you should be gaming no less than FIVE girls at any given time. Preferably no less than TEN. The more the better.

I promise you will never get arrested for being interested in too many girls.

[Guest_Guest_*]

There's this girl (A) I like. I only know her roommate (. Would it be a good idea to be good friends with the roommate ( to get closer to the girl (A) I like?

Like...you know how girls talk a lot? Would that be a good idea, so that maybe the roommate ( will say good things about me to the girl (A) I like?

I guess what I'm asking is... are your chances better if you're good friend's with the best friend of the girl you like? Or is it better to not get to involved with her circle of friends?


---
In an earlier post, you said to praise ..."another girl's appearance. If in the process of talking about another girl, you can say something like "yeah, she's pretty, I'm surprise she doesn't have a boyfriend." Something like this confirms you have a wandering eye, which you NEED to do, but it doesn't confirm you're interested."

Say you're actually interested in the girl you praised (and not interested in the girl you said it to). If you don't know that pretty girl, would that be a good way for her to maybe hook you guys up? (given that you continued talking further about the pretty girl). Maybe she'll talk amongst her friends etc etc. and spark the pretty girl's interest?

[ipster]

that sounds like the way a girl might go to get with a girl she likes.
It's more likely you appear to want to get with A. Just watch it happen.

If you are best friends with the girl you like, then GG, game over. We call this the friend zone. It's like a black hole. There is no escape.

When you two go out you somewhat enter the circle of friends due to obligation.

If you keep hammering on about the pretty girl then the uninterested one WILL think you are into the pretty girl. Neg the girl you are interested in instead of that. Either she goes neh and ignores you or you become a creep to her. I doubt you would be able to do anything worthwhile without face to face contact. in which i mean speaking to each other.

[Guest_Guest_*]

^I think you might have read my post wrong. I do want to get with A.
What I'm saying is.. is it a good idea to be friends with the roommate of A in order to be introduced to A?

[ipster]

Aha. you are right. I put two conflicting responses. I meant it might appear you might want to get with the roomate if you get closer to her.

Beyond that i think it is great to be come acquaintences not friend friends. Like knowing by name and able to strike conversations. You pretty much should want to ask her out befor you becomes Friendy friends, because of friendzoning. I think i said that it is better to make a direct response towards her.

IMO i feel like going through a friend is a more feminine way of approaching a woman and looks less alpha male-esq