Advice For Love, My first time confessing to the public Options

[phrontistes]

hello, co-users. i just joined this site today because it looks really cool to exchange information between asians. so if possible, i want to kick it off with some advice.

so here's the story, there is this girl . . . that i had broken up with about 4-5 years ago.
i guess i would say that she is the first girl that i had ever developed strong feelings for over our period of dating. It was really hard letting her go during the break up but as you can see, years has passed and i am over it(or at least i am fooling myself to think i am).

but here is the problem, i've dated many girls over the past 4-5 years but i've never really felt the same way as i did for her(as in any strong emotions, i can understand different feelings for different relationships). i've even had another serious relationship with one girl that lasted for 1 almost 2 years sorta. the problem with that relationship is that i kept hurting her because she thinks i don't love her. and i feel guilty because somehow i know that's true.

the ultimate question for your advice . . .
i just can't find any strong loving feelings for any potential girls anymore. i'm not gay if you are thinking of replying to me (maybe u need to find a man, see if that works) no, i am not. lol, but i want to feel the feeling of being in love again, passion, deep emotions, tears, waking up to think of a girl that i live for, i want to care for a girl again..

what do you think i should do and/or what do you think is wrong with me?

thanks to all who replies with advices in advance

note: please don't tell me that i still have feelings for this girl because i know i still have some light innocent feelings, but i don't want to get back with her. thanks for understanding

[GoP-Demon]

love just happens.

[holyblaster]

it's another case of oneitis. =(

[SorrySorry]

those innocent feelings are just that you miss what you had with that girl. not he girl herself. Simply just imagine that even though your alone now not every person finds a girl they can love... you were lucky extremely lucky to have found her in the first place. Don't expect to find another so easily... heighten your standards and don't date until you find just the right click to it again and you ll be soaring hookups and parties are fine but do not date so easily because if you do find that perfect one and you are in a meaningless relationship complications arise simple as that. There is no guarantee that you ll find another feeling like that but its worth the hunt its something to live for. I found a second chance and im never letting go btw im almost exactly on the same boat but now my problem is that sure i found another but its long distance 2 hour away fml

[rosa_123]

its really hard to fall for something that deep again. they only come and knock on you once, miss it then its your fault, but if u had it be sure to hold on to it tight

[Stranger88]

Your desire to have a true love is really not wrong at all. Whoever doesn't want a true love in life? But sorry to disappoint you, I doubt you can find one when the concept of love sounds no new to you anymore.

In fact, it's unlikely impossible for you to find out a girl with whom you will fall in passionate love again. The problem is which special traits that girl needs to attract you to that extent. It's because you have experienced with so many types of girls before that you may feel bored with them easily and leave them earlier and earlier.... Anyway, I honestly wish you to get such true love soon. Good luck, man!

[seeker123]

its really hard to fall for something that deep again. they only come and knock on you once, miss it then its your fault, but if u had it be sure to hold on to it tight

I really hope that's not true. I mean, i'm in the same boat as the thread starter. After hearing what you said, I really fear I might not ever find another girl which I can have the same type of relationship with. A truly best friend / girlfriend relationship, but then again, maybe that's why it didn't work out. Too much best friend, not enough girlfriend...

[Pinkuu]

What i've always believed is that true love comes once in a lifetime. Once you've lost it, it will be hard to find it again. But that doesn't mean that it won't come by again. Yeah its hard getting over someone who used to mean so much to you, unfortunately time doesn't wait for anyone and although i totally understand and respect your heartache, you cannot stand still.
Memories will always be with us as wells as our past. These things cannot be wiped. it's cruel but there's not much we can do.
Take as much time as you need but remember that there is someone else waiting out there for you.

[bbish520]

the thing is there is nothing wrong with you...you just have to wait.....just have to wait until the time comes....can't rush it and can't slow it down...and as the time comes then you will feel way more than you had felt with your ex-gf