An honest question, guys but girls are welcome to answer too Options

[Guest_girlzgirlz_*]

Do guys care about the popularity of a girl?

Recently met this guy whom I've hit it off pretty well with and he's definitely interested, it seems like. He's the outgoing, sociable type with a lot of friends and always in the party, however I'm rather the contrary. I'm reserved, sweet, but not exactly a social butterfly and I don't have that much friends nor go out that much.

Do guys care about how popular or how often she goes out or how many friends a girl has? Does it matter at all?

What about girls? Same thing applies? How would you feel if one of your popular male friends dated some shy, loner-ish girl?

Also, I never really fit in anywhere in high school and was the farthest thing from the popular crowd. Just graduated, but was wondering if it's possible to start having and making many new friends, find a place in the social circle somehow?

[Nitikie]

Honestly, depends and yes if you are in high school. It does depend on the guy though, if he doesn't care then he doesn't care about that stuff.

I'm not popular, I'm as what you explained about yourself and I have a great bf. Don't worry about it. When you're so much older, popularity fades and starts a new phase. Who is better off in life? Being financially stable,those worries. Not popularity. That sounds silly in fact. Unless you are of the elict, then it's harder on you. Popularity stays for quite a while.

If you're going to college, do make friends, it's not hard to it's about your effort you put into it. So don't shy away. You'll meet alot of interesting people and there is no popularity contest. Unless it's within a group...but then I don't think you should be in that group to begin with. It's a major self esteem bomb.

[OhDamn]

No. Guys do NOT care about popularity. Guy's care about beauty. Beauty for a girl=popularity. Notice how all the popular girls are HOT as opposed to the unpopular. Sure, there are a couple of shy girls here and there who aren't social butterfly's, but I'm betting they get hit on anyway. They just don't realize it. Also why would a girl care if the girl their male friend was dating was unpopular?

It's always possible to start anew and make new friends. You've just gotta put in the effort.

[Chatterer]

The popular jock types care about popular girls. You know, with their "reputations" that they have to maintain. It's like, why go out with a shy girl when the skanky ones are all over him? If the guy is REAL, then popularity shouldn't matter to him.

[The Yen Man]

I think it depends on the person. I'm a quiet and pretty reserved person. I am socialable in that I get along with everyone I talk to, but I'm kind of quiet because a lot of times, I like listening to other people's stories rather than talk. So I come off as a somewhat shy and quiet person until you get to know me.

I've dated 2 girls that are both a lot more outgoing than me, yet, both are completely different.

One I felt, needed to always go out and interact with people and be a social butterfly. She is easily bored and would go out for the sake of going out. And because of that, she needed me to be more outgoing to match her. She was always stressed out that I wasn't as outgoing as her, and was scared I wasn't enjoying going out all the time with her. Because of all the pressure that brought to her, that relationship ended after awhile. Honestly, looking back, I was also stressed out that I always had to come up with new things to do. I was basically feeling like you are now, wondering if the relationship would work.

The second girl is also very outgoing in her own way. She is able to make friends really easily and always knew how to interact with people. However, she actually likes the fact that I'm not outgoing, and that I'm quiet and kind of boring. She is outgoing whenever she's interacting with people, yet deep down she likes a lot of boring stuff like me. Weird, I know. But that's how it goes. And that relationship is still going for me, yet unlike the first relationship, I don't feel any stress of being a boring person.

So I guess what I want to say is, it really does depend on the person and what they're looking for.

This post has been edited by The Yen Man: Nov 3 2009 5 50 AM

[karrieb]

I must agree with the above poster. I think opposites do attract! I'm engaged to my fiance who is not as outgoing as I am. I'm the one who instigates going out with friends and stuff as I love interacting with them, and he's the type who wants to stay at home and watch tv. But I think because we compromise for each other, we balance out and have fun too!

[Majestic]

No. Guys do NOT care about popularity. Guy's care about beauty. Beauty for a girl=popularity. Notice how all the popular girls are HOT as opposed to the unpopular.

False. It is true to some extent and perhaps in examining psychology, that a girl who believes their "pretty" has a bit more self-confidence and worth contributing to her popularity etc...

But in a specific micro examination of beauty=popularity - that's half true. Its a popularised idiom, since many girls who aren't beautiful or pretty are still very popular. Beauty does help created popularity, but makeup also contributes to a person's attractiveness. Theres a variety of factors that add up to a person's popularity, but I think a lot of beautiful girls aren't popular either.

I must agree with the above poster. I think opposites do attract! I'm engaged to my fiance who is not as outgoing as I am

Heard heaps of people say that. I generally agree. Its like a battery, positives and negatives spark. A contradiction to this theory, is the multiple behaviour and personality of people - a lot of people act different etc in front of certain people. That will contradict the attraction of opposites, if someone usually shy is "outgoing" in front of someone they like, or someone "outgoing" is shy in front of the someone they like etc...

[OhDamn]

False. It is true to some extent and perhaps in examining psychology, that a girl who believes their "pretty" has a bit more self-confidence and worth contributing to her popularity etc...

But in a specific micro examination of beauty=popularity - that's half true. Its a popularised idiom, since many girls who aren't beautiful or pretty are still very popular. Beauty does help created popularity, but makeup also contributes to a person's attractiveness. Theres a variety of factors that add up to a person's popularity, but I think a lot of beautiful girls aren't popular either.

Look at it this way; generally, ALL the popular girls are hot. The one's that aren't hot are surrounded by hot friends. Ergo they are popular simply because they are great springboard material. Popularity does not add to sexual appeal (which is what guys base a girl's date-ability on) for women. So yes, in some cases, popular girls aren't necessarily hot. In those cases however, they've got a smorgasbord of hot friends.

The beautiful girls that aren't popular tend to be the shy introverts. Their lack of social ability is why they aren't popular. I mean you'll only go so far with beauty. You've still gotta talk. You'll notice however, they get hit on FAR more than your average girl, regardless of their lack of popularity. Hence, popularity does nothing for a girl.

This post has been edited by OhDamn: Nov 3 2009 12 25 PM

[behappyman]

I think it helps, but to me it doesn't matter that much. Sometimes I'm more popular. sometimes less. I'm quite social, and got a lot of friends, but I don't know if that makes someone popular. As for the girl, it's nice to know that there is some sort of popular appeal, because that shows good social skills, and that's a must in a relationship, but they can have that if they're not so popular.

What I don't want is a nerdy, loser girl stuck on the internet all day, with no social skills. So yes I find popularity in a girl attractive, but not necessarily vital.

This post has been edited by behappyman: Nov 3 2009 6 00 PM

[brilliance]

haha opposites attract is such a joke. sure they might be opposite in a social sense, but common ground of similarity is needed to build a foundation to start off with. trust me it's really really hard to be attracted to someone who is completely different from you.

and as for the question, i think beauty is more important than popularity. the only thing that might be the problem is that the guy might be feel like his guy friends won't approve of the girl etc. but that's really not a big deal once you get past that. this is just from my personal experience.

[Guest_Guest_ricky_*_*]

As for the girl, it's nice to know that there is some sort of popular appeal, because that shows good social skills, and that's a must in a relationship, but they can have that if they're not so popular.

What I don't want is a nerdy, loser girl stuck on the internet all day, with no social skills. So yes I find popularity in a girl attractive, but not necessarily vital.

This. It all really depends though. Shy girls can be endearing in a sense however someone who is way too self-conscious to function or talk for that matter is downright turn-off for me.

Popularity, her status, how many friends she has doesn't really matter at all, but being able to decently socialize with other people is important - especially when meeting and getting along with my friends. Of course popularity to an extent suggests how well-liked she is by other people and speaks certain volumes about her personality, how approachable she is and whatnot, but yes it's not a requirement I look for in potential girlfriends.

I think this is a somewhat contradicting perspective though, since some really popular girls in my high school are downright b!tches you wouldn't shed a tear for if something bad ever happened to them and aren't exactly well-liked no matter how "hot" they are. Funny how that works eh.

[GirlWithUglyFeet]

If you're beyond the high school, popularity will probably not be a concern with this guy, although it really depends on the type of person he is. Cliques disappear after high school because in college, you're surrounded by thousands of young people coming from everywhere and people in general are probably too stressed with school rather than trying to fit in with a clique-less crowd.

That being said, just because you don't have many friends doesn't mean you have to a no-fun. If you're dating a guy who's outgoing, you should at least try to have some fun and befriend his friends. Because sooner or later, when he realizes how much of a party pooper you can be, attraction fades and you'll lose him.

[The Yen Man]

haha opposites attract is such a joke. sure they might be opposite in a social sense, but common ground of similarity is needed to build a foundation to start off with. trust me it's really really hard to be attracted to someone who is completely different from you.

I am going to have to 100% agree with this sentiment. Below the surface of two supposedly opposite people, there has to be some underlying qualities that both need to share in order for a relationship to work out. If two people are both on the surface as well as underneath are 2 completely opposites, then it will never work out.

Think about it this way. Think of everything that annoys you. Now think of someone who embodies all these traits. That's basically the polar opposite of yourself. Would you want to spend the rest of your life with this person? I doubt it.

Usually when someone says "opposites attract" they don't mean contrasting personalities. Rather, they are refering to complementary personalities. For example, a person who likes to take charge and likes to lead would be attracted to a person who likes to be led, and does not like to take charge. These would be two complementary traits. A contrasting trait would be two people, one who loves to go out all the time and party vs. one who hates going out and likes staying home all the time.

So I think the important thing is to determine whether or not your personalities are complementary or are they contrasting.

[Dh135]

GirlWithUglyFeet pretty much hit the nail on the head. The whole popularity fad pretty much fades away once you go to university. Everyone is already too concerned about school and fitting in and having a good time with new friends. I guess if you're really really socially excluded from everyone, it would definitely be strange and weird, but otherwise, it's not a problem!

I

[Blazing_royale]

as long as i'm attracted to them or find them cute i could really careless if they're popular or not.

[seeker123]

Most guys would not prefer their gf to be really popular. Most guys are extremely jealous creatures on the inside and would actually love their gf to be all to themselves.