why the hell would she even get mad at me, over something like this? Options

[Guest_Guest_walter_*_*]

when i left hong kong and come to canada i know i had a stand up for myself and be tough because i would be easy to take advantage by people. so it becomes a habit that i fight back when i am being push around.

so one day i hang with this girl like she is not my girlfrend but we hang out and when we go on the bus there is a man who keep saying she has a nice necklace. and he keep touching her neck but make it look like he is touching her neckalce because he keep saying outloud "nice neckalace" "where did you get it" and of course i know he is touching her on purpose, and she knows that, and i look at her and she look at me, and i tell to the guy "yo what the f*ck you doing, man" and he tell me to calm down, but what the f*ck man? he is telling me to calms down? so i calls him a asshole and he dont say anything anymore and when i ask why you touch her man, he just keep not saying anything.

when we got off at the bus (it was not even out stop, she just get off for no reason) she push me and say what is my problm. and i was so confuse because i was stand up for her, man. she say i embaress her on the bus or something and people was watching. yo i dun give a f*ck man, like i said, i has to stand up and fight back or this stuff will keep happen. man i thought i was doing her a favor, and now she gets so mad at me and i dun even know what her problem is. im i pretty sure she block me because she is always on but tonight. man, f*ck this. last time i stand up for her.

[Dekopon.]

Why would she get mad at you? She told you, she was emberassed by how you acted.

It's not wrong to stand up for her, but you could have done it in a better manner. Swearing and being a jerk about it is not the way that impresses a girl.

[Chatterer]

Well, I personally think you were right to stand up for her. You never get that enough these days. People just avert their eyes, look down, whatever. But you did something. If she was truly bothered by that guy, she should be appreciative of you fending off that bastard. But apparently she doesn't seem to realize that you were on her side and defending her personal space.

[PinkLashBling]

theres a couple of possibilities..

maybe she was bother by how you reacted it. It's kinda abit too much.... you didnt have to jump at the guy and start droppig f bombs. Could of handle it better, the scene you made was unncessary.
Also, your reaction seemed like that she's your girl, and noone can touch her, etc. possessive.
Or maybe she just didnt think that guy was a big deal. maybe she liked the attention from that guy?

[stardusted]

Kind of sounds like you were doing all the pushing and asking for a fight. It's one thing to stand up for a person but it's another to let your aggression get the better of you. You could of just simply told him to back off and left it at that. There's also the possibility that you could've completely misinterpreted the situation. The guy obviously backed off so why was it necessary to make a scene and continue to call him an asshole? You went overboard and definitely could've handled the situtation better.

[OhDamn]

It doesn't seem like you were standing up for her at all. It seems like you just wanted to pick a fight and assert your superiority in front of her in a vain attempt to gain her favor. I mean what kind of a douche continues calling a random stranger who's crime is nonexistent an asshole after he leaves off? f*ck if I was him, I would've just smashed you in the face and told you to take your tough guy b*llsh*t elsewhere. How can you fight back when there IS no fight? The fight was a figment of your testosterone filled idiocy. If you wanna impress a girl, you don't go causing unnecessary trouble fueled by false bravado. You calmly assess the situation and select the simplest solution.

[brownie7]

you probably embarassed her by making a big deal. when the guy stopped and said nothing you could've stopped there bcz u already made him stop touching her. also, swearing at him kinda makes her look bad cz shes with you and ur swearing at him, like she is friends with sum1 swearing at him. like if sum1 swore at u and u disliked him 4 being impolite, the friends with him and ppl associated with him<- u kinda think of them badly as well since they choose 2 b friends with him

[Elemental88]

You should just cool it and tell him to stop touching her in a calm and no swearing way. If he does, good and don't say anything about it. No point fighting anymore. She freaked out cuz you keep going on and refuse to stop even after he stopped touching her.

This post has been edited by Elemental88: Nov 4 2009 1 17 AM

[Guest_kidbid_*]

been there done that before dude.

u overreacted, and in the process she felt embarrassed by u, hence why she blew up on u.

if i were in your shoes, i would have just told the guy to back off and leave your friend alone, if he backs off, then fine, no issues. if he doesn't, then that is when u just be a bit threatening just so u get your point across.

similar thing happened with me like 2, 3 years ago.

me and my female friend were on a platform waiting for a train, this guy walked past her and noticed her necklace, he said to my friend 'wow that is a pretty necklace', then he walked away, then he came back, and asked my friend if he could just touch it and have a closer look, but then i noticed this guy was not letting go of the necklace.

he was doing it on purpose, trying to full touch my friend, so i just told the guy to back off, which he did. actually if he didnt back off, i dunno what i really would have done, but yeh thank god it did not come down to that.

just do not make the same mistake again.

im sure your friend will come around to u, u just got to give her some space.

[azn_17]

the f word doesn't make you tougher and stronger. it makes you like bad person who is rude and inconsiderate. Inconsiderate as in causing a scene in a public area, esp a bus.

[seeker123]

well you embarrassed her. Standing up for someone DOES NOT mean acting gansta and saying "what the f*ck man?". You can be angry at that guy, but still use a more mature way of handling the situation which wouldn't draw as much attention and still show you stood up for her. A girl wants a guy to protect her by being mature, not "ganstazz stylzz" that stuff is for 16 year olds.

[secondbreath]

Hey don't listen to these pansies man, you did the right thing. I swear asians are always so scared of confrontation and next time she's in trouble, just let her handle it herself. So what if he dropped some fbombs on the dude, you don't go up to some stranger and start touching her neck.

[pcwl]

Although i support you for standing up for her, it makes you wonder maybe if it was possible you could do it quietly so the whole bus didn't know she was taken advantage of?

Many guys wont have the guts to do what you did, i think you should be happy you acted like a man!

But its hard to make judgements without seeing what happened.

[jun takashi]

you could acted more civilized at first, its not a proper way to talk the first time you opened your mouth with (&($&# and #)*)*.

there are other possible approach you can do aside that.

[Guest_Guest_*]

How about saying "Can you please stop touching her?" next time. That would be a nicer one of solving it, if he really continues to do it. Just tell your friend to step away. If you make a big commotion about of course she would feel embarrassed. Just tell her your sorry if you really do take her as a friend, and just tell her how you feel about the situation. Just tell her that you thought you were doing her a favor, and her yelling at you was a big shock. Your intentions shows that you care about your friend, she shouldn't be too mad at you.

[Guest_lony_*]

u have good intentions for proctecting that girl, but u need to see the difference between agressive and assertive.