Friends to couples, couples to strangers? Options

[chieudinh21]

I don't really understand why the fact that two people started off with being good friends, talk and everything like good friends would do. Then they have feelings for each other... being together for like a year or two, or even more. Then suddenly stuff happens to them, and eventually they broke up.

I would say it's not something bad about the break up that prevent them from talking, but why most people don't even talk to an ex anymore after they break up? Even before they've done a lot of things together, went through many ups and downs together, it's just that they couldn't be together for a certain reason. But I somehow find it hard to see why some exs doesn't talk like the way they used to be?

For me, I don't find it hard to talk to my ex boyfriend because I still see him as a friend. I just don't understand why it's so hard for us to say hi to each other.

Well I guess most of you guys would say "breaking up means no contacting each other because there will be this feeling you guys used to have" etc, but it's funny how things ended up so differently when you started off with being good friends and then ended up being a stranger to each other... I just find it so weird to understand.

So was it better to never loose that friendship in the first place, because it will get awkward after being together and the break up and everything, isn't it?

[SBW]

Eh its just one of the unspoken laws when it comes to dating...you will lose a friend regardless..

Lovers aren't really friends, take my ex for example, she went pretty darn extreme, from no contact to doing things i totally did not understand. Eg. Blaming the end of my relo with her on one of my friends...

But its also logical, for example if you did certain things with your ex that you weren't proud of, and you didnt want your next bf/gf to find out about it, you'd usually cut contact with your ex to prevent things from ever being revealed.

Its hard to trust a friend, its hard to trust a lover, but its hardest to trust an ex. If you were together for that long, once you see that ex with someone else, there will always be a pang of jealously

This post has been edited by SBW: Nov 4 2009 6 31 AM

[seeker123]

Yeah it is very difficult to understand why Ex's who used to be good friends are now strangers.

Black Eyed Peas lyrics "you were my best friend and girlfriend, now it seems like you're my worst friend" hits this dead on.

I am a stranger to my ex now, I feel bad, but I just can't imagine us talking normally without hurting each other by thinking about the past. Maybe time will change this but right now, it's been a few months, it just doesn't feel right.

It sucks, but... have to accept it.

[Pinkuu]

Yeah this is quite a hard issue.
It's like with my ex, he has totally gone cold turkey with me. Everytime i try to be nice and ask him how he is, he'd just say he 'needs to go'. I hate it that every time he tries to avoid me rather than speak to me but it's not that i don't understand either.
We once spoke about it and both agreed that whenever we speak, we start remembering the past. He says it hurts him too much talking to me and also having moved on from 4 years whilst he hasn't had much luck with anyone else as he keeps thinking of us. Therefore he results in ignoring me to block out our past.

What my friend said also was that when you still have feelings for the other person, it's really hard to move on unless you block them out for a while.

[Delishious ♥]

I agree. When talking to yur ex, most peeps will still have feelings and try to avoid others..
But its totally stupid... = =. Yu were friends in the beginning... Yu were good friends.. Yu became a couple.. and then all of that goes to waste. This is why so many peeps have problems of asking a friend to go out with them. They don`t want to lose that friendship if things don't work out....

[x tehe. off topic p:~

[Gem1990]

I dont understand it...I mean if u were just a couple and not friends beforehand then yeah sure I get it. But people that were good friends for so long, date, break up n just stop speaking just make me think whhy? I no u may still have feelings for them, but wouldnt you rather stick at it and work your friendship out again?
Thats what I did, me n my ex are back to being good friends, yeah it takes some time, but I wouldnt have it any other way

[Love. Music.]

its just depends on how messy the break up is when its all over.
if u guys both genuinely still care and wanna be friends then u would still keep that friendship but the minute one side starts to see the other differently thats when things fall apart.

personally this is the reason why i dont like my close guy friends
i know its gonna be like this
we wont talk the same and we wont act the same after we break up so i avoid things like this to start with lol