I've been trying to figure all of this out for the longest time but couldn't find a good answer to it myself, which is why I'm here and would like others' opinion and view on issues that have been bugging me like crazy.



I have little to no social life whatsoever. I have friends, but very, very, unbelievably few that I actually keep in contact with for a regular basis and the rest just simply falls in the acquaintance category. In fact, I don't even know that much people and the ones I do probably could barely remember me I bet.


Most of my (very few) friends are in the same boat as me in that they don't really go out much aside from school or work, and occasionally we would meet up to do something, but for the most part they are simply uninterested in leaving the house despite the best of my efforts to make plans.


Before anyone suggests perhaps it has something to do with my behavior or anything, I would like to make it clear, I have ALWAYS been very friendly, kind and as outgoing as I could be to other people, sometimes even out of my way to make others happy. If there's one thing I am certain about myself it would be what I have just described.



I am no longer in high school, entered college this year but don't seem to have much progress as well.


What am I doing wrong? I'm just wondering - what are some great ways to talk, interact, get to know people and make new friends, be popular? What are some advices and great socializing tips that can't go wrong anyone would suggest? I'm 19 - and the lack of social life kills me.

Is it possible to start a great social life and good network of friends out of nothing at all? It's time to change my life.

Thanks in advance for any help!

I'm going to assume you live in Canada because you mentioned your age. Hopefully that's the case because what I'm going to say is based on drinking casually at a bar.
What I like to do is I'll talk to a few girls, guys, whatever during class (this strategy usually works when people have class breaks or its the last class of the day).

Now that the academic friend basis has been established, things get easier. After class one day, say, "hey, you guys want to grab a beer".. something like that.
Since you've described yourself with those traits (friendly, kind, outgoing) this will most likely work very well. Then just get to know the people, let people know about you, stuff like that.. that way they will remember you. Over the course of the semester you'll probably get invited to a few shindigs of their friends, which will open more possibilities. It's all about being available to people. I try and stay on campus at least 8 hours a day which allows me to network with old friends, new classmates, etc.

I guess all I'm saying is exposure is key. Good luck man

It's harder to have a social life once you get to university/college, I know what you mean. Remember it's not really whether or not you have that 'social life' or not that matters, it's if you feel you have a support system of good friends or not. I may not have much of a social life, but my friends are so busy they don't really either - we all understand though. Keep trying to plan things and love your friends, but also, go out and meet new people, whether in class or at clubs or maybe try volunteering if you have the time to do so. Be friendly and say hi to people around you, but don't feel like you need to rush friendships. Sometimes it just takes a while to get to know people better, and eventually you may turn out to really be great friends and be able to hang out a lot. However, be yourself and be happy regardless - that's what attracts others to get to know you.

It's an effort to have a social life. u actually have to make an effort to keep in touch with ppl and to go and meet ppl. I agree, you need good friend to support. There will be times in your life where you are down and need support. That's why they are important.

I have the same problem as you! i always feel like im second choice when people are finding who to hang out with. as well, in a group conversation, the speaker always tends to look and speak more directly at the other person than me.. I don't know why oo

This statement alone explains why you're in this situation. If you'r enot gonna bother going out, you won't have a "life".

I'm not gonna tell you to go out more. It's the truth, but everyone else will tell you that already and it's obvious.

I will tell you that, unfortunately, having a social life won't get easier. Once you're out of high school, it's hard to make close friends. And once you're out of college, it's even harder.

It's hard to have a life without friends (excuse me...without COOL and SOCIAL friends). That's why you need to go solo if you must.

I hate my post to sound like a walking advertisement for the Mystery Method, which is what they've been sounding like for the past month. But you really need to learn how to cold approach a stranger. It's not that hard and it's scientifically effective. The hardest part is getting off your butt. I know it's hard because I suffer from procrastination and lazyness. But it's about how much you want it and developing a taste for risk and adventure. Don't simply wait around and hope things get better. Because it likely won't.

Time to get to know new people but friendsships take time to develop. You can't rush it. Choose people who share your hobbies because it's easier to hang out with them. To get into people's good books, for a start, be nice and be useful and chances are you will be invited to their future outings.

two words.

meet people.