this is a new generation, chinese should be allowed to date non chinese without it being weird. ok, i agree with this, but what happens when that particular chinese want to stick with only chinese. all of a sudden she is wrong? all of a sudden she is stuck in the past? all of a sudden she is like old asian parents?

i have a problem. when i went to university, i made alot of friends. and there was this one friend who was really close to me. i felt good around him, we shared jokes, shared the same interests, we made each other laugh alot, and when we talk, we can talk for hours without end. but today, he told me he liked me. i could totally see us being boyfriend and girlfriend, but its just soo tragic that he lacks that one thing. he's not chinese. my whole life, i only saw myself with chinese, not even half chinese or japanese. im not racist or anything, but that is my preference, my standard, and you can all call me narrowminded, closeminded, orthadox, or stuck in the past, but i know me. and i know i wouldnt be happy with someone who isnt chinese. i would feel like something is missing. i dont even want to think about a life married to a non chinese man. my parents want me to only date chinese, and i want that even more than my parents.

so i told him that, i just prefer dating my own race. and other than that, there is nothing wrong with him. if he was chinese, i would date him in a second. he told me to give it a chance, that i dont know how it will turn out until i give it a try. and i told him that it was like looking at a sweater and you dont even have to try it on to know that it wouldnt fit you. he said that i was stuck in the past, he said i was like those old asian parents that only want their kids to marry chinese. and this got me mad because he was implying that i was wrong. he said that this is a new generation and love shouldnt be based on race. i got angry with him because he is accusing me of being old fasioned just because i have a preference?

i dont get it. am i wrong for only wanting to date chinese? this is my life and i get to choose who i love. i dont care if this is a new generation, i dont care if we live in a society free of race or whatever, i dont care that more chinese are dating white people, i dont care about all that. i care about what i want. and i want to be able to choose for myself. i dont want society to choose for me. if this is our "new society", if this is our "new generation", i wish i was back to the old one. i dont like him anymore. way to ruin a perfectly good friendship, and make me deperessed at the same time. he said i was like old chinese parents that only want their kids to date chinese. well i say he is like a narrowminded parent as well. what a hypocrite!

No, he wasn't implying you were wrong, he's saying to give him a chance and he's frustrated that you wont even think twice.

You're not wrong for dating who you want. He's just trying to make himself feel better from being rejected.

I don't know why you're angry for. If it just wont work, it just wont. If you're willing to drop a close friend, go for it. Why do you feel so angry when someone calls you a old fashioned person? In some way everyone still goes by those rules.

My personal suggestion, don't tell the guy it's a race issue. If you know it just wont work, tell him that you can't see each other, other than just friends. Then you wouldn't have an arguement and an ended friendship.

He never implied you were wrong. He simply stated you were old fashioned, hence the traditional beliefs towards dating. Why are you angry? He called you old fashioned, big deal. Honestly, I'd call you the same.

just listen to that little voice inside of you... follow whatever will make you happy... cause in the end, you only have to answer for yourself and no one else..

try to also understand your friend, what he's feeling... it's hard to be rejected by a person you really like...

all of us have our own preferences, so we should learn to respect that!

You're not wrong for wanting to date only chinese people. However you could have at least tried going out with people of different races to see how it turns out. It;s not like ur marrying them or something, just seeing if your so called 'preference' for chinese people is not just because their chinese.

I would be angry as well if I had likes someone alot and they didn't wanna even think twice about going out with me because of my race. However u think ur the one who should be angry? Yes, maybe he shouldn't have called you old fashioned, but you should have at least stated the reasons why you wanna stick with your own race and not look at another; and please don't say, 'because i want 'pure' babies.'

First you say you don't care about the new generation but then you care what he told you???
Honestly if you are able to tell him your thinking so why he can't do it also?
Or good friends are only this kind of friends with whom you can only laugh and be happy??
You seems are not that good friend to me.

He likes you and asked you to have a try with him.
If you don't try you will NEVER know!
Even you say like you know already, but i don't believe this!

You said if he were Chinese you will directly date him. So you like his personality.
Why are you looking for outlooking that much?
I think everybody should do what he/she wants! Date their own race or date other race. It's up to everybody!!

But why are we writing here by the way? You said now you're not interested in him in any way...

Race issues has always been a sensitive topic in one way or the other, so in future when you rejects a guy and even if race issue is the one and only reason why you reject him, do not tell him so. I am sure you can say something else. Sometimes it is better to tell a lie. Use your discretion. Be diplomatic and you won't get yourself and the guy into unpleasant and awkward situation.

I agree with above post that you will lose him as a friend if you tell him the truth that you only date from your own race and it might make you a racist and make you a bad friend to him or future guys who going to like you. I am sorry if I offend you from my post.

Really?! I've never seen an asian girl like you. It's always the opposite. Everyday I see all these asian girls with white guys >.>

Heres an argument to help you. Culture. You want to keep your culture. You want chinese kids to keep your culture, language, food, art w/e....

What a tradgedy.

I think his perfect for you. Except he has a fatal flaw. He is not Chinese.

So if he has such a flaw, and you cannot see past this - he is unsuitable for you. The inability to love beyond flaws demonstrates that you merely like him rather than anything else... Were you really to feel some sort of connection with him besides oral communication you wouldn't see any barriers between you two...

As you have previously said it is your preference. If you feel you "want to be with" him, your preference will change - if not, then you do not want to be his gf.