Jump to content

AF needs funding again

Photo
- - - - -

Why do guys make promises they can't keep


This topic has been archived. This means that you cannot reply to this topic.
39 replies to this topic

#1 Cutie22

Cutie22

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 106 posts

Posted 03 May 2007 - 03:26 PM

Just wondering y do guys oftenly make promises they can't keep?
Wat's the point in promising in the fisrt place.
When u guy make promises, u make us girls really believe in everything u say and then us girls get hurt in the end becos u guys broke ur promises.

R most guys like this? any1 wanna share any stories.......

for example my ex-bf promise he will introduce me to his family, I know his parents are strict so i tried to be understanding and waited 1.5-2 years- in the end, he never did. it really hurts.

This is a stupid question to ask but how do u know when a guy is being serious?

#2 AsianDL

AsianDL

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 306 posts

Posted 03 May 2007 - 03:39 PM

Why do girls think that everything that come out of a guys mouth is a promise.

If we make a promise we stick to it. but sometime we say it so u girls could stop nagging us.

Its not like we want to do it but that the only way it seem to shut u girls up sometime. i dont think its cute to keep nagging us and make us give us our words on thing. in reality u guys force it out of us. how could u take that serious. ??????

#3 maomuffin

maomuffin

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 435 posts

Posted 03 May 2007 - 04:06 PM

Dear Sinful,

Just imagine if the girl does that to u, promise u anything n everything and yet she doesnt do it..

#4 butterkrispies

butterkrispies

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 190 posts

Posted 03 May 2007 - 04:33 PM

My boyfriend keeps most of his promises but its the just ones that are dumb he doesnt promise..lol..Im usually the one that breaks a couple...

#5 iCanFly

iCanFly

    Asian Fanatic

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 3142 posts

Posted 03 May 2007 - 04:48 PM

Well if you consider a guy saying he'll try to do something as a promise, then yes most guys are like this.
But if the guy says I promise blah blah blah, In my experiece, no, not most guys are like this.
People tend to keep their promises when they say they promise

#6 absurdworld

absurdworld

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 261 posts

Posted 03 May 2007 - 05:06 PM

When I say "I promise ___" then i keep to it. When I just say it as a out of my mind (random crap) then its not a promise so I dont expect her to remmeber it as a promise, but from experience, she does..

#7 edd80

edd80

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 760 posts

Posted 03 May 2007 - 06:51 PM

ya u are so right...most guy are like that...they like to promise to their gf which they really can't keep any promise...haha..this is because they are try to keep the gf happy...and the gf knew it...but still want the guy to promise them anything to make them happy....anyway, not all guys are like that...there still guys out there keep their promise...like me...haha...i'm one of the person that can keep promise (sometimes) :noclue

#8 Nitikie

Nitikie

    Asian Fanatic

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 3373 posts

Posted 03 May 2007 - 07:13 PM

the same goes for women who can't keep promises too.

Listen, you expect too much from a man, that's your first fault. Everyone is human, everyone makes mistakes. They can easily forget or have other things on their minds. They can't always have you on their minds. That'll be the *impossible*. They'd be like your slave if that was the case.

The more you trust ppl the more you will get hurt. I trust my fiance completely even if he lets me down, I easily forgive, because it's a justible reason as to why he let me down. Then again, I don't care if he lets me down, I let him down some times too. You're expecting too much from a person to be perfect to their words. That is really all there is to it. But if it was absolutely important, I'd have to call him and check up on him every now and then to make sure he does keep to his word, or ask if I should do it instead.

#9 aznelite03

aznelite03

    AF Baller

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 2248 posts

Posted 03 May 2007 - 07:18 PM

not everyone keeps promises (male and females) because no one is perfect. People can keep promises only to an extent because theres so much we can do.

#10 etiologic

etiologic

    Asian Fanatic

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1995 posts

Posted 03 May 2007 - 07:45 PM

I think at some points, you have to learn to let things go meaning forget the unimportant things.

In this instance, I would agree that it is important what he promised you because it is a representation of what your future holds.

#11 jmilton

jmilton

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 153 posts

Posted 03 May 2007 - 09:15 PM

I keep all my promises. I think most guys try to... it's just difficult to remember. maybe you should remind him.

#12 ~Minty~

~Minty~

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 1260 posts

Posted 03 May 2007 - 09:30 PM

Maybe you shouldn't trust people so easily, you know in relationships there are often changes, you should judge and see if he is really sincere, then you should trust his promises, but yeah some people ( not necessarily men), are really good are sweet mouthing people, watch out!!!!! Beware of liars!!!

#13 miranda

miranda

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 1262 posts

Posted 03 May 2007 - 10:33 PM

It goes both way. We are make promises that we cannot always keep. "I will always love you", etc. Well, life doesn't work that way. Things happen, arguments happen, and people learn and get to know each other more.

We say a lot of things to make our bf/gf happy, and we try to make them happy by doing many things. When things go sour, we stop. Or when we're tired, we stop. You can't change another person or mold them into something they're not. People are unhappy and feel promises are broken when certain things do not meet their expectation.

To prevent that, communicate and have expectation out in the open. Not hiddden expectation that so so will always do this, etc. When something doesn't meet your expectation, let the other person know. Don't bottle it up and get all upset

Edited by miranda, 03 May 2007 - 10:33 PM.


#14 *tommyboy*

*tommyboy*

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPip
  • 73 posts

Posted 04 May 2007 - 04:36 AM

well depends what kind of promise. cause sometimes guys dont' know if girls are serious about what they said or want.

#15 camille_he

camille_he

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 560 posts

Posted 04 May 2007 - 04:58 AM

from a girl point of view/... hehehe

guys usually break promises... but not all...
though ive been hurt with those promises too... sometimes they didnt intend to do that.... maybe.... hehehehe
and yeah, it depends with the promise..... hehehehe

my boyfriend id good in keeping promises... haha im actually the one who break promises for him.... so i guess, it also depend on the person...? ^^

#16 WingZeroX5

WingZeroX5

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 174 posts

Posted 04 May 2007 - 05:07 AM

hM...I'm pretty careful to what I say to a girl and if i know i have the ability to keep a promise, i'd keep the promise. Otherwise, i can't promise anything and its not a guarantee. Even if i'm in a relationship, promises are....how do u say this...treasured? Blah, i cant really explain it. Sometimes a guy's situation changes so that the promises are no longer kept.

#17 finklboy

finklboy

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-n00b
  • Pip
  • 7 posts

Posted 04 May 2007 - 05:08 AM

i agree it goes both ways. i dont break a lot of promises but when i do i make it up to her. i ve seen girls make false promises to guys and vice verse. i think it all depends on the type of person.

#18 orangejuice

orangejuice

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 264 posts

Posted 04 May 2007 - 05:28 AM

words mean nothing... actions means everything...

#19 jam0cam

jam0cam

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 350 posts

Posted 04 May 2007 - 05:46 AM

not all guys are like that. And not all broken promises are intentionally broken Maybe it just happens that the promises can't be kept.

#20 Cutie22

Cutie22

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 106 posts

Posted 04 May 2007 - 01:45 PM

{words mean nothing... actions means everything...}

I agree with u, orangejuice.

be4 i was too young and innocent so i believe everything they say but now i've learnt to be stronger and not take everything too seriously. like u all say, u cannot guarantee anything espically when it comes to "love" - becose people feelings can change and when it does nothing can stop it.

When i say i won't take things too seriously, I mean- I won't fall in love too deeply becos now i know that guys sweet talks means nothing, it's their action that counts.

Do I sound abit cruel?
I've only dated 1 guy and it was a bad experience so it has turned me into the way i am today.

People look at me and say.......... i'm quiet pretty and smart (I'm a pharmacist) and have a good family but y am i still single. Then they just assume, i'm too picky with my choose but that's not true, i just have a hard time trusting guys these days....

#21 flyingsolo

flyingsolo

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 651 posts

Posted 04 May 2007 - 02:14 PM

i think sometimes promises are only promises at that point of time.

i give u example, ur partner promise to take u to wonderland and have a wonderful time together. and then just 2 days before that you guys had a fight and BANG BOOM, u broke up.. so u still expect ur partner to take u to wonderland???

there could be reasons like.. their busy

forgot.

etc

but no, not every guy can't keep promises :) it depends on the person

i mean if u date a guy that is very very loyal etc.. he probaly will remember every promise he made while u forgot them?

:D

#22 cococreamz

cococreamz

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 821 posts

Posted 04 May 2007 - 08:49 PM

to be fair everyone breaks some sort of promise sometimes, can be change of circumstances or change of mind set.
its just life. learn to trust but not indulge in promises.

#23 mayhem_skeet

mayhem_skeet

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPip
  • 23 posts

Posted 04 May 2007 - 09:17 PM

Because some men are liars.

But then again Cutie, I have a question for you. Do you always keep promises you make to your boyfriend?

ah ha... makes you think ddon't it.

#24 Cutie22

Cutie22

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 106 posts

Posted 05 May 2007 - 01:37 AM

[But then again Cutie, I have a question for you. Do you always keep promises you make to your boyfriend?]

Mayham_skeet------ i've only being in 1 relationship and it was my first relationship too,, so i really did put everything in it.... so yes i could say that i did kept all my promises to him. That's y i say now i'mnot gonna fall to deep in a relationship anymore cos i don't want to get hurt again.

#25 WaiSiuBo

WaiSiuBo

    Asian Fanatic

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1538 posts

Posted 05 May 2007 - 01:41 AM

hmmm i think the best reason i can think is tog et osme ass but other common reasons i think is so that the gf wont annoy the shiet out of them or tell them to go somewhere where they dont wanna go or do something they dont wanna do cause guys dont like naggin or at least i dont

#26 Guest_babibluechick02_*

Guest_babibluechick02_*
  • Guests

Posted 06 May 2007 - 03:37 AM

yes, they make empty promises.
girls always eat their bullsh*t promises
and choose to be their caged up bird
and cherish every f**king word.

#27 homey dont play dat

homey dont play dat

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 406 posts

Posted 06 May 2007 - 04:36 AM

i use to do that with my first few ex-girlfriends, but now i dont do it anymore. i keep my mouth shut and not talk about the future, making those promises and whatnot. i just make a topic about current situation.

#28 khristinep

khristinep

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 241 posts

Posted 06 May 2007 - 04:58 AM

Not all guy are like that, and girls do that sometime too. We are human and we make mistake. Back to your problem, if he promise he will introduce you to his parent, does he say when? maybe he was waiting for right time to do so. Meeting the parent is pretty important, if you cant wait then it your problem. There is a situation where he keep making you wait more like over 2 years, then maybe you and him need some talking.

#29 kabang

kabang

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPip
  • 62 posts

Posted 06 May 2007 - 05:32 AM

Please don't use one example and generalize it for all guys...

#30 el_rey

el_rey

    [ SMILE ] :: el rey ::

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 4552 posts

Posted 06 May 2007 - 05:52 AM

People like hearing "I promise" for some reason, and it means sh!t to people especially for the person that says it.

I reckon its just a excuse for some people to get pee'd off coz they got nothing better to do haha...

At some point someone mite say something like i promise or something that means it and doesn't keep it...are people saints...well probably 0.00000000001% of the world are. People lie, people cheat, people break promises - get used to it.

I don't believe when girls say they promise things haha...only some people take it at face value and think the word promise is this godly word lol...In the future ur most likely gonna be a mother/father and thats when ur promises become BS too.

Yes i didn't get my extra large death ray gun that my dad promised me...


You gotta be pretty naive to believe someone just because they spouted out i promise lol...

#31 Jonnkie

Jonnkie

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 210 posts

Posted 06 May 2007 - 12:59 PM

Definately not all guys are like that
But i can understand that its annoying
Hard to see if someone is serious or not perhaps he is serious but he forgot it or later he got his own reasons that he dont want to do keep that promises
just talk with him about that !

#32 Cutie22

Cutie22

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 106 posts

Posted 06 May 2007 - 01:13 PM

khristinep [Back to your problem, if he promise he will introduce you to his parent, does he say when? ]

--------- He told me to give him time like a year so i did and after 1.5 to 2 years, he still didn't so that's y i was so hurt in the end :( I hate being in an insecure relationship, especially when he knew my family and my freinds so when we broked off he had it the easy way out while every1 kept on asking me wat happened.


el_rey [You gotta be pretty naive to believe someone just because they spouted out i promise lol...]

-------YES I was extremely naive becos it was my 1st relationship, but now I've learnt alot out of it. :)

kabang - ---sorry but i didn't mean to generalise all guys, was just asking for ur opinion and if any1 wanted to share their experiences.



Hard to see if someone is serious or not perhaps he is serious but he forgot it or later he got his own reasons that he dont want to do keep that promises
just talk with him about that !



Thanks Jonnkie----- we broked up already n there's no chance we will get back together again but at least i've learnt a good lesson out of this relationship. Also i think he was serious with me and he did love me at the start but after awhile his love for me faded..to a stage where he said to me, "we can still be together but he can't guarantee that he could love me again", so we broked off cos i don't want to be with some1 who doesn't feel the same way as i do. i still don't know y but i guest the reason y he couldn't keep his promisse was becos he didn't love me anymore. that's y it hurts so much and all the things he had said to me and all the promises just meant nothing anymore.

this is a really good phrase--------- it doesn't hurt until it touches u .... so now i learn not too be to naive and believe everything people say anymore

#33 dumb_dookie

dumb_dookie

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 235 posts

Posted 06 May 2007 - 10:45 PM

Most guys are like that. They make promises at the way beginning of the relationship to secure the girl's feelings. It's the beginning phase where the guy feels the need to please the girl in every possible way - through words. As time passes, they simply just...don't feel the need for it anymore. All the guys that I've associated myself with all make promises at the beginning, and in the end, they just end up breaking them. :wasntme

It's normal. Can't really blame them either. You just have to be more cautious yourself and not let yourself get too upset over the disappointments of broken promises. (:

#34 Tiny

Tiny

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 373 posts

Posted 09 May 2007 - 03:02 AM

yeah. i believe guys make promises like its nothing to them. like my current bf, i've asked him many times to go take classes and improve his english and get his GED. and he says he wants to too and he will. but its been like 2 years and he still havent done it. and few months ago he said he will again but never did. its so annoying...all those promises he broke. and he promised he will never hurt me or whatever but he always end up breaking them. and after all of that crap, everything he starts to say some promise, i'll just yell at him and tell him dont even promise anything coz he'll never keep them anyways.

#35 Vietboy07

Vietboy07

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • Pip
  • 18 posts

Posted 09 May 2007 - 04:36 AM

not just guys...girls too

#36 Hiccup

Hiccup

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPip
  • 28 posts

Posted 09 May 2007 - 02:29 PM

mm..i think it's just guy's habit to say something even they didn't mean it? To make their girl happy for a while and to avoid problem. girls usually pay attention in every words their bf throw up and mistaken it for a promise. Then if girls bringing up that promise, - usually- a guy was like "what? i didn't remember ever said things like that" and girls think their bf always broke their promises.So, i think that not a man's mistake nor woman. It's just our nature - maybe instinct- keep playing on us. Yea, get used to it. :D

Hiccup~

#37 inn0centgr1

inn0centgr1

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPip
  • 44 posts

Posted 14 May 2007 - 06:26 AM

I think promises are only valid and good at that time its being said. Something like i promise i will love you forever are only words with no guarantee whatsoever.

#38 LevuListo

LevuListo

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 132 posts

Posted 14 May 2007 - 08:11 AM

If you want a straight answer then the answer is no, not all guys are like this. But not everyone keeps promises, it is not fair for us when you generalise guys like this.

Promises CAN be broken, it is not always when a person will be able to keep a promise. There are several different things that can affect it

#39 glk

glk

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 840 posts

Posted 20 May 2007 - 10:53 AM

seriously alot of ppl make promise they cant keep its not just guys girls does it 2, n 2nd in todays society promise is just a excuse 2 make u trust him its not a real forever contact. u shouldnt take it dat serious

#40 food <3

food <3

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 390 posts

Posted 20 May 2007 - 01:06 PM

Uh. Not all, but my boyfriend is okay. I try not to believe him, but he proves me wrong everytime. So, I can say nothing.