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Girlfriend grinding other guys at clubs


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#1 bingbing

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Posted 17 June 2008 - 11:00 PM

My girlfriend really likes to dance and go to clubs while thats not really me. The relationship she was in before me gave her complete freedom to grind other guys at clubs and the last guy had the freedom to do it with other girls. I know from her perspective its just dancing but its not something i feel comfortable with or want to see. I just don't want to see my girlfriend's ass up against some other guy's crouch and turning him on. Her birthday is coming up and she wants to go clubbing and she wants me there. We talked already and i know if i go we'll only dance for a little bit because she just doesn't dance with the same guy for a long time unless he's really good and im not.

I was wondering how other couples approached this and how girls feel about it. Are other guys uncomfortable with it as well or is it just me? Is it really JUST dancing with girls? Because I know its sexual for guys. I also don't think I should stop her from going since it is her birthday, we also already talked and she knows how i feel. What should i do?

#2 chineseleon

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Posted 17 June 2008 - 11:21 PM

Look at her in the eye and say what you have to say, and say you mean it.

#3 grimbeaver

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Posted 17 June 2008 - 11:33 PM

It goes both ways... can't really base on what other people say. If you don't like it, tell her. Don't keep it within yourself.

#4 Artificial Sweetener

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Posted 17 June 2008 - 11:37 PM

wow, i can say if my boyfriend was grinding with other girls i'd be pretty pissed off. I don't really think thats right tbh because she's taken so she shouldn't be grinding against other guys. It's kinda like flirting but in dance form...lmao.

I dunno though maybe she just sees it as dancing and just really enjoys it...=S but then again why should she dance with guys who are not you if your there? lmao arn't you enough.

I have a solution......tell her to grind against girls if she must. You might even get a kick out of it. :)

#5 cndn08tr

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Posted 17 June 2008 - 11:59 PM

Why don't you dance with other girls too. She doesn't understand you even though you told her your feelings. Let her understands the feeling of being jealous. If she still doesn't understand, then you should find another girl that is your type. It seems that she's the party type while you're not. It probably will not last for the long run. Good luck.

Edited by cndn08tr, 18 June 2008 - 12:01 AM.


#6 Microcosm

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 12:03 AM

As long as both of you accept that its just fun and games, then its all good. :thumbsup

It's your girlfriends birthday so I'm guessing theres no way you're going to dodge this one. You just got to treat it with a more positive attitude. It's not just going to be a night of fun for her, but it can also be a fun night for you. If she's going to grind 20 guys there that night, you're just as allowed to grind with 20 girls.

It doesn't matter if you're good at it or not, its just a chance for both of you to let loose and have a little bit of fun. If you're girl friend is not the sl*tty, pick up type, then you're still going to be her boyfriend at the end of the night. Also just realize this: if you go out there and you grind with 20 other chicks, you're probably not going to see or be too worried about your girlfriend doing the same with other guys. When couples go to a club and one has more fun then the other, a lot of the time is because one is dancing more then the other <_< .You just need to accept that its an opportunity for both of you to have fun, she's taking this opportunity, and you're allowed to do the same.

#7 Artificial Sweetener

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 12:17 AM

^Actually that's a really good idea.....go grind with some girls! It's a win win situation if you think about it.

#8 dan168

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 12:19 AM

I will be p*ssed if my gf did that to another guy. No gf of mine will be grinding to no other guy. I don't care if she calls it just dancing, its called respect to your partner and it looks like she's got none. Maybe you need to find another gf.

#9 Monster_Emperor

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 02:05 AM

hmmm kinds of remind me of my ex where she said her friends birthday was coming up didnt exactly want her to go but yea...... so in return i also wents to a friends party at the same time. i didnt even need to ask but i knew she danced with other guys while i had my fun with somebody else but yea those girls arnt for keeps man

#10 cndn08tr

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 03:27 AM

Grinding with other guys is just an excuse. Doesn't matter how much you love to dance, you just don't do dirty dances in front of your boyfriend or girlfriend. That is rude, disrespectful, and untruthful. I can't tolerate that if I was you.

Edited by cndn08tr, 18 June 2008 - 03:27 AM.


#11 Ryohko

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 03:32 AM

well, you are surely not comfortable with it. and she should try to understand it and maybe stop doing it, which she doesn't seem to. well, you can also dance with other girls at ther birthday party, but it might put some unnecessary tension upon your relationship. so, maybe try to explain it to her so that she might understand what you feel. but, if she doesn't, you still have to let her do it, but it will only ruin your relationship. she has to understand and see it if she wants to be with you.

#12 nutrilift

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 05:04 AM

haha I don't know if it's faked ... but if it's your own situation.. then you have to tell her your jealousy.
Female who usually act like that could justify by : "oh you know darling, I'm not having sex with them, just dancing.. there isn't pervert thought"

If your infidelity point of view is " as soon as she is thinking or hanging out about another man than you" then... quit her :D You can't force her to be like you want. She is free. She is a wh*re hahaha

Bye baby , i love you.

#13 Big_Boss

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 06:42 AM

Yeah, I'd hate that too. I'd hate to date a girl like that.

But then again, if you were a player type you probably wouldnt even care about who the hell she dances with.

#14 Zoxak

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 02:01 PM

I don't mind if my gf were to grind with other guys at a club if I'm not there...gotta have some fun the whole night. But definitely not if I were at the club, I would be seriously pissed.

I would honestly take it up with her that she couldn't get up on any guys while I was at the club. Straight up. I would break up with her on that issue if necessary.

#15 Susiedolz

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 02:41 PM

hmm interesting topic....
i guess it applies to me since im a clubber girl
and i just got mah bf....
hmm i find it hard transitioning but now im alrite ( i havent clubbed for a while)

i mean when i go club and dance / grind wit guy its nothin to me
cos i have no attachment, its a bit of fun

BUT now that i have a bf, i think that dancin is like nothinig,
i would restrain myself from grinding cos yea i kno mah bf would be cut
and if i saw him doin the same thing wit a girl ill be cut as....

ur case i think u shoujld go with her, just have fun
let her know how u feel
and hope that she repsects ur feelings ........

theres goin to be alcohol involved..so things can get outa control

just dont like go crazi n start a punch on with any guys

#16 kevinlau87

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 03:11 PM

Grinding with other girls would be fine but would it solve your problem? Would it make you feel better? Your just doing this because of her, why not tell her about what you feel about it. That might solve something.

#17 girlygirl

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Posted 19 June 2008 - 03:03 PM

i totally understand i was in the same situation...show her that it really upsets u and if she cares she will understand

#18 Janet

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Posted 19 June 2008 - 03:08 PM

she shoul dhave self respect and know what shes doing..

thats just wrong.. >.<

especially if, i assume, ur at the clubs with her too oO''

#19 reshaly

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Posted 19 June 2008 - 03:23 PM

View Postbingbing, on Jun 17 2008 5 00 PM, said:

Are other guys uncomfortable with it as well or is it just me?

Nah, it's not just you man, I feel the same way <_<

I also feel that this is an issue of respect. I would be extremely uncomfortable if I were to see my girlfriend grind it out with some other guy. If I were to see my girlfriend getting some other guy horny on the dance floor, well, that just doesn't work with me.

View PostMicrocosm, on Jun 17 2008 6 03 PM, said:

If you're girl friend is not the sl*tty, pick up type, then you're still going to be her boyfriend at the end of the night.

Funny, I heard this exact quote from a friend yesterday. That's an interesting way to put it...

#20 austin31six

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Posted 20 June 2008 - 09:00 PM

I would tell her, that I don't like what she's doing, and would like her to stop, and if she doesn't, they I'll call it quits in our relationship. She obviously doesn't respect me enough, to care about my feelings.

#21 The Brave Man

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Posted 20 June 2008 - 09:10 PM

It is either you accept the fact that she dances with other guys or you end the relationship. You have done your job by telling your feelings so now be a man and cope with the situation by accepting or dumping her. The fact that she doesn't want to stop says her side so I would advice you go to talk her and say you are uncomfortable at the situation (of dancing with other guys) and if she doesn't change you would leave her.

But do I get the feeling that you don't dance enough with her and leaving her no other option but other guys? If thats then it aint really her fault, is it? It is just her hoppy to go clubbing.

#22 lting77

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Posted 21 June 2008 - 02:04 AM

so basically she likes to dry hump other guys in the guise of 'he's a great dancer' (to rub against to)?

guess she won't have a problem if one day you go to the strip joint and get a lap dance.....
and call it you went dancing no?

#23 mike7381

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Posted 21 June 2008 - 02:49 AM

Well i would be really pissed off and if i am u i will tell her that i don't want you to be like that and if she still insist to do it, then i will break up with her

#24 preciosobaby

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Posted 29 June 2008 - 07:33 PM

i think thats just a bit wrong....
okay i understand the whole girl thing about wanting their boyfriends to be a bit jealous sometimes so that they will appreciate them more and all that shiit.
but i think by doing this firstly ur boyfriend won't be impressed and secondly the guy who you are ahem* grinding won't take you seriously.

#25 sky-23

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Posted 04 July 2008 - 01:58 PM

i mean what has grinding to do with dancing? to me honestly i dont call that dancing by no means!

dancing like that you do it to turn on guys or girls its like over te clothes action!
if her ex let her do it...that dont mean you should everybodi has their own tolarance limits!
to me i would not accept it ..that my gf is grinding somebody!

i mean i would not take it!

#26 keroppi0809

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Posted 04 July 2008 - 02:33 PM

Well i think u should b honest with her and let her know exactly how u feel because there is no point just keepin it 2 urself. If u can't tolerate it now how can u tolerate with it in 1, 2 or 5 yrs time if u r still with her? B open abt it as i dun think she really respect and luv u enough if she continue to do those sort of stuff even with u have told her how u feel. Thats just my point of view.

#27 udontlie

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Posted 05 July 2008 - 06:56 PM

let her grind away. because she might be one of the girls i grind up when im in the club hahahaa.

but in all honesty, your girl shouldnt be grinding with guys in the club. if she respects you, she shouldnt be doing that. its a compromise she should make. if she cant compromise, then you gotta bigger problems than her grinding with guys.

#28 .:ecila:.

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Posted 05 July 2008 - 10:46 PM

thats disrespectful,..personally its consider cheating for me.

#29 dragonkat

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Posted 05 July 2008 - 10:55 PM

View Postlting77, on Jun 21 2008 3 04 AM, said:

guess she won't have a problem if one day you go to the strip joint and get a lap dance.....
and call it you went dancing no?
I love equality^^
Just let her know that you are uncomfortable with it.

#30 lalalander

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Posted 06 July 2008 - 06:53 PM

I feel really disgusted watching people doing it, but my friends think it's ok. I don't do it.

#31 unfathomablesisa

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Posted 07 July 2008 - 07:14 PM

View Postbingbing, on Jun 17 2008 11 00 PM, said:

My girlfriend really likes to dance and go to clubs while thats not really me. The relationship she was in before me gave her complete freedom to grind other guys at clubs and the last guy had the freedom to do it with other girls. I know from her perspective its just dancing but its not something i feel comfortable with or want to see. I just don't want to see my girlfriend's ass up against some other guy's crouch and turning him on. Her birthday is coming up and she wants to go clubbing and she wants me there. We talked already and i know if i go we'll only dance for a little bit because she just doesn't dance with the same guy for a long time unless he's really good and im not.

I was wondering how other couples approached this and how girls feel about it. Are other guys uncomfortable with it as well or is it just me? Is it really JUST dancing with girls? Because I know its sexual for guys. I also don't think I should stop her from going since it is her birthday, we also already talked and she knows how i feel. What should i do?

there are actually a lot of factors you should consider first before making any move (if you still haven't done anything). for one, your girl has experienced FREEDOM. her previous relationship(s) allowed for her to feel carefree--that you must understand. secondly, it may be her culture, upbringing, and origin. westerns grind at clubs and such actions are pretty normal to teens in their locale--however, here in my country (Philippines) people are still somewhat conservative. if a guy is to chance upon his girl dancing wild with another guy, acceptance is not really the usual case...

resolution to this problem is actually CONFRONTATION. just tell her you respect her decisions, actions, and gestures--but you find it unfitting for her to be dancing with some other man. tell her your sincerest motive and feelings for her. i am a girl, and surely girls could understand their man, just be gentle ok. don't dictate her or push her around---remember, she is a carefree person...

#32 happy_2008

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Posted 07 July 2008 - 08:26 PM

Good topic as for most people it would make other feel uncomfortable but the person doing it, it might just be a little fun with there friends.

#33 Euro M3 CSL

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Posted 08 July 2008 - 02:19 AM

unfortunatly, theres not much u can do since she is the "freedom" type grl. Like u and mostly every1 else, id be pissed if my grl grind up on other guys. then again u should know her personality first before going out w/ her.

#34 An Tran

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Posted 08 July 2008 - 03:52 AM

if you're not cool with it, tell her. but wow she's diff.
i wouldn't do that to my bf & i wouldn't let him do that to me.

#35 DaXaO

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Posted 08 July 2008 - 05:13 AM

i understand .... Talk w/her ... i think she is mature enough to understand u ... Let her understand u ...

g0od luck !!

#36 Pinkuu

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Posted 08 July 2008 - 03:23 PM

i've had this problem before. My boyfriend was saying that it's just DANCING.
He wouldn;t have liked it if i was up to a man whining and grinding and all sorts. Maybe it is some careless fun but to me seeing that would fire me up fast.. i don;t appreciate some next girl's butt near my boyfriend.
So to this day, he has promised not to grind and to just have a few drinks and joke around. which i am fine about. plus he usually goes with friends who have gf's anyways..

I think your best solution is being honest. If you don;t tell her, she wouldn;t know and think you're ok with it. Try to come up with a compromisation of some sort. I don't think if you grinding on some girls it would resolve how you feel. Just talk and try to understand each other.

#37 Aznbadboi

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Posted 08 July 2008 - 04:05 PM

if she is grinding with someone else in a club then why don't you go and grind with another girl.

#38 Kelsx

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Posted 08 July 2008 - 05:17 PM

I personally, as a girl wouldn't grind with anyone apart from boyfriend. I don't mind dancing with anyone, only bit of fun really, but grinding in my opinion especially for guys creates sexual attention and appeal, and I'm not the kind to stoop so low, well just my thoughts.

I think the best thing to do is express how u feel to your girlfriend about the issue and work from there. Also seeing as your not the best dancer, do a surprise outing or meal together so you can get to do what you want with her on her bday.

#39 johnnyvarvatos

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Posted 08 July 2008 - 06:10 PM

you have to be a man in this situation.. do not ever show whiny jealousy....

it is okay however to show her your authority..

tell her exactly this in a calm dominant voice.


Hey. I've been seeing you grinding on other guys at the club, and I understand that it is meaningless dancing, but I respect you enough not to grind on other girls, and i feel that this does nothing to strengthen our relationship, so if you value our relationship, I want you to consider what I'm saying.


leave it at that.....don't make a big deal out of it...don't bring it up agian.


if she continues to do this..DUMP HER ASSS..you are the man...if she doesnt respect u...dump her.

#40 LopatTjai

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Posted 09 July 2008 - 03:38 AM

You must speak with her, you and your gf must communicate better to each other.

If you dont like she is grinding guys at club, then you must tell here as soon as possible. Otherwise you will be unhappy....





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