Jump to content

AF needs funding again

- - - - -

My bf bought me a gift card on birthday!


51 replies to this topic

#1 BBB

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-n00b
  • Pip
  • 3 posts

Posted 12 August 2008 - 06:38 AM

Today is my birthday,and I really expected we going to do something special. But it turned out bad. He took me out to eat and planned to go to see a movie. I was really pissed, so I cancel the movie thing and headed home instead. Then he gave me a $50 gift card as a present. Okay, girls please tell me what do u think, boys are welcome to share your thought. Thanks everyone.

P.S I'm 24, and he is 23. It's not that we are young and not having money, but I don't know what going on..I'm not expecting him to buy me any expensive gift, but at least put some thoughts in it.

Edited by BBB, 12 August 2008 - 06:44 AM.


#2 chineseleon

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 569 posts

Posted 12 August 2008 - 06:51 AM

Eh he probably rushed it, and didnt put much thought into it. Try to get someone to ask him whats with the present, etc.

#3 LookAtHer

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 307 posts

Posted 12 August 2008 - 07:58 AM

Chill out... It's just a present... At least he spent time with you on your birthday. What did you expect from him? A thousand reasons why he loves you?

#4 brainz

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-n00b
  • Pip
  • 5 posts

Posted 12 August 2008 - 08:09 AM

Agree with above.


You expected something special, but you shouldn't hold your BF to such a high standard. Dinner, movie, gift card; sounds like a very nice birthday to me. You can't dictate what others will do for you on your birthday, simply be happy they did anything at all.

Canceling the movie on your part seemed childish, throwing a temper tantrum.

#5 PhuongNguyen

    Asian Fanatic

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 2,157 posts

Posted 12 August 2008 - 09:00 AM

It may be unreasonable; but hell... if it's my birthday; I want to be treated like a queen. I treat my boyfriend like a king on his so I expect the same. If my boyfriend were to give me a giftcard for my birthday; I'd give it back to him and tell him to go buy himself a clue.

On my birthday; my boyfriend made me a cake, took me out to dinner, wrote me a poem, made me a video, decorated his room with candles, and gave me a laptop. Now I even if he didn't give me a laptop; I'll still be happy... because at least he made an effort of doing something special for me.

People who said that dinner and movie sound nice... uh yeah; on a NORMAL date.... not on ones birthday. I go out to dinner and watch movies with my bf all the time; if I do it on my birthday; it'll just be like any other day.

#6 hummmmm

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • Pip
  • 14 posts

Posted 12 August 2008 - 09:10 AM

Agreeing with what's being said above. It sounds to me this relationship is rather new. And you are expecting too much, since you two are not young anymore - working probably, a million other things to worry about. He remembered your birthday, took you out to a dinner, a card, and planned to take you out to the movies.

#7 BBB

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-n00b
  • Pip
  • 3 posts

Posted 12 August 2008 - 09:18 AM

View PostPhuongNguyen, on Aug 12 2008 9 00 AM, said:

It may be unreasonable; but hell... if it's my birthday; I want to be treated like a queen. I treat my boyfriend like a king on his so I expect the same. If my boyfriend were to give me a giftcard for my birthday; I'd give it back to him and tell him to go buy himself a clue.

On my birthday; my boyfriend made me a cake, took me out to dinner, wrote me a poem, made me a video, decorated his room with candles, and gave me a laptop. Now I even if he didn't give me a laptop; I'll still be happy... because at least he made an effort of doing something special for me.

People who said that dinner and movie sound nice... uh yeah; on a NORMAL date.... not on ones birthday. I go out to dinner and watch movies with my bf all the time; if I do it on my birthday; it'll just be like any other day.

Exactly!!! It's not a normal date, it's my birthday. His friends even told me..he treated me like one of his friend not gf. Sound so true.. If it is his birthday, I really do something special that he will remember for life..perhaps this relationship is not new, it lasted almost a year now. He's such a romantic type too, but I don't know what's happening?

Edited by BBB, 12 August 2008 - 09:21 AM.


#8 el_rey

    [ SMILE ] :: el rey ::

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 4,552 posts

Posted 12 August 2008 - 01:05 PM

Here's my paranoid thoughts.

Can it be he done this intentionally? to upset you? he wants to end the relationship through you? I don't know...but i know i aint helping one bit by saying this...but the possibility is there.

Other then that, he can be genuinely a DOPE!

Well i think if the day is going to be like another date, atleast make the present fair...something that ends the day with a big smile on your face lol...but a movie is ridiculous as well...even for a normal date (ofcourse some movies are must see but if you do movies as a regular event...wow...slash that -> some movies are worth seeing, some aren't)


Talk to your bf, if you can't even bring this up...what happens is, he'll think your cool with it. Your bf is funny tho...maybe his a comedian and just thinks you'll find it funny too ...ahh another possibility there lol

#9 Kelsx

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Validating
  • PipPipPip
  • 147 posts

Posted 12 August 2008 - 05:19 PM

Erm.. i think he might lack the genes of romance and being sentimental, i think some guys might be like that, however in their eyes they may feel that spending time with you is enough to please you and to show that they love you. there are others who r willing to spend effort for your bday, not in money terms but thinking of sweet ways to say happy birthday to u. Lol u could say at least he remembered loL!

But with the gift card... shows that he did rush for ur bday, and wasn't sure what to get u..I would feel a bit gutted too, as it seems like a kinda ordinary outing, rather than a celebration. He could of bought u flowers, and u could of watched the stars together on a beach somewhere with candles, and that would have made u happy lol.

Just tell ur bf to be more romantic next time!

#10 MarzBarz

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-n00b
  • Pip
  • 6 posts

Posted 12 August 2008 - 06:07 PM

well it's understandable why you're upset, because you don't feel like he really thought about what he should get you instead just put it together last minute. However how long have you guys been dating for? Because with some guys they just don't want their g/f to hate what they're doing for them for their b-day because it's a special day, so he probably didn't want to screw it up. I think that it's really sweet that he took you out for dinner and was going to take you out for dinner. Like my boyfriend and I have been dating for awhile, but like all we did for my b-day was buy sushi and eat outside. like a picnic i guess, but the most important part of it was that i was happy because I was spending my b-day with him. =P sometimes you have to look past things and let things slide if they aren't too big =) but i hope you had a great b-day anyways.

#11 mango_girl

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 327 posts

Posted 12 August 2008 - 08:10 PM

Yah that sounded pretty bad. Like others said he could be missing that romantic gene.

You have to tell him straight out that he srewed up royally on your birthday. Even if this is a new relationship, the first birthdays and celebrations should be wowzers.

My bf and I had similar issues. He always said he does'nt know what to do. So i told him straight out what I like. I know i'll be missing the suprise, but atleast I'll get to spend it how i like it. hehehehe. On my birthday he didn't even get me a cake. So made him drive around the city 11 at night to find me some cupcakes and candles, and sing me happy birthday on a cliff looking into the city skyline! It's kinda funny looking back it.

Anywho don't be too mad athim for it, but still talk to him about it.

#12 WaiSiuBo

    Asian Fanatic

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,538 posts

Posted 12 August 2008 - 08:41 PM

the most logical theory and probably the one you should hope for is he forgot because that a lot better than he did remember and didnt care to put much effort into it but i think you should talk to him about it and how it makes you feel so it doesnt happen again wit other stuff like anniversaries and wat not

#13 QuackieChau

    Asian Fanatic

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,931 posts

Posted 12 August 2008 - 08:55 PM

Maybe he just SAID he was going to take you to a movie but he had something else planned and wanted to surprise you. But you acted like a baby and threw a tantrum in the middle of dinner.

Just a thought. Since you mentioned that he IS the romantic type. I told my bf that I was just going to take him to dinner on his bday, but we actually had a (romantic) picnic on the beach. And had a surprise party for him right after the picnic. Now if he'd thrown a hissy fit about dinner, none of that would have worked out, would it?

And did you actually plan something nice for his birthday, or are you just saying that you would hypothetically go all out? Maybe he doesn't know that you expect more than dinner and a movie for your bday. Birthdays aren't a big deal to everyone.

Personally, I'd be fine with a nice dinner on my bday. Probably not a movie, but a walk in the park or on the beach afterwards would suffice. I understand that you're disappointed and upset, but in the long run, I think this is a non-issue.

#14 highway69

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 364 posts

Posted 12 August 2008 - 09:03 PM

a gift card is better than no gift at all.

#15 ksachikoy

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPip
  • 29 posts

Posted 12 August 2008 - 09:54 PM

I think a giftcard to bf or gf can be a little rude if its just to a useless/regular store like walmart or target or something...

If it was to a specific store that he/she likes then it's okay - I once even gave my bf cash to buy a SnapOn set that I knew he really wanted. I figured he'd rather give the business/commission to his regular SnapOn dealer than just some random seller. (BTW - I also gave him some other small presents - clothes and cologne...)

I've received gift cards/certificates to salons, starbucks, clothing stores, etc...

But atleast he remembered your birthday...

#16 AngelAngel

    Asian Fanatic

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,881 posts

Posted 13 August 2008 - 12:34 AM

meh guys are so dense about these things, my bf never knows why I'm mad at him or anything...

they just need hints, very blatant one, or I just tell them what to do like "I want that as my bday gift."

#17 flyingsolo

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 651 posts

Posted 13 August 2008 - 01:47 AM

Well this depends on how long you guys have been together.

#18 JSBach

    Asian Fanatic

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 3,844 posts

Posted 13 August 2008 - 02:18 AM

Great. So he spends money on you and you go onto a public forum to trash him to a bunch of strangers.

What an awesome girlfriend.

You may have reasons to be upset by this impersonal gift. But the fact you'd trash him to a bunch of stranger for doing something that isn't all that horrible reveals your snotty attitude. Keep in mind you've only been with him for a year. This may be the first birthday you're spending as a couple. For a first or second birthday, what he did may be a little unromantic. But it's not unreasonable given the short period of the relationship.

So for you to trash him on a public forum...hey, maybe you deserved what you got. In my opinion, he overspent.

Edited by JSBach, 13 August 2008 - 05:14 AM.


#19 Zannnes

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 335 posts

Posted 13 August 2008 - 03:10 AM

I totally understand how you feel.
Like I felt the ouch just 2 days ago on my birthday.
I was expecting my bf to do something special for me on my 18th but guess what?
He wasn't the first to text me and not only that..
He just texted me with a Happy Birthday. Just that two pathetic word!

Now you tell me, shouldn't you be grateful that your bf got you a $50 gift card?

#20 Choco ~ Latte

    AF Noob Translator

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 26,099 posts

Posted 13 August 2008 - 05:09 AM

This might make u feel worse but i think he probably forgot so he rushed to the nearest store., there is no thought into that gift at all....
if it was me i would be upset and then just not talk to him for a while
cuz thats really messed up.. if he was poor then yea thats ok but he has been with u for a while, i assumed, and he isnt a hobo at least buy some flowers,

#21 mango_girl

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 327 posts

Posted 13 August 2008 - 08:23 AM

View PostJSBach, on Aug 12 2008 7 18 PM, said:

Great. So he spends money on you and you go onto a public forum to trash him to a bunch of strangers.

What an awesome girlfriend.

You may have reasons to be upset by this impersonal gift. But the fact you'd trash him to a bunch of stranger for doing something that isn't all that horrible reveals your snotty attitude. Keep in mind you've only been with him for a year. This may be the first birthday you're spending as a couple. For a first or second birthday, what he did may be a little unromantic. But it's not unreasonable given the short period of the relationship.

So for you to trash him on a public forum...hey, maybe you deserved what you got. In my opinion, he overspent.

Uh you do realize that we all have screen names, and it's not like we know who the guy actually is. Forums are meant for venting and asking ppl for opinions. Not everything on the forums are going to be happy go lucky. So what bad news can't be on forums just cuz we're "trash talking"

Anywho BBB. Some guys you just new to be very direct with.

#22 doraemon1188

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 338 posts

Posted 13 August 2008 - 12:08 PM

i say he either forgot about ur b/d so he totally rushed it as he didn't hav any time to buy the prez at all or it's either he doesn't even care about u nemore...but if u's been together for long then it's prob jus some forgetfullness i guess...newaz u can ignore him for a lil while since u should b angry about it..

#23 BBB

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-n00b
  • Pip
  • 3 posts

Posted 13 August 2008 - 10:28 PM

Actually I didn't threw a tantrum at the dinner at all. I pretend I'm okay with all of his plan, but I knew within myself I wasn't happy about it. When I went home that night, I did text him and told him how I felt. He didn't call me nor text me back at all. It's been 2 days we haven't talked to each other. So I don't know what's going on.

#24 chineseleon

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 569 posts

Posted 14 August 2008 - 02:06 AM

He doesnt wanna listen to you rant anymore, and quit complaining, you already got "him" as a present.

#25 JSBach

    Asian Fanatic

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 3,844 posts

Posted 14 August 2008 - 02:09 AM

View Postmango_girl, on Aug 13 2008 12 23 AM, said:

Uh you do realize that we all have screen names, and it's not like we know who the guy actually is.

Naming names isn't the point. The mere fact that she runs to a forum to trash a boyfriend after he spent $50 on her reveals her state of mind. State of mind is the point. If she does this on AF, imagine what kind of ungrateful antics she does in real life.

If she has a habit of doing ungrateful things, why should we surprised that this guy doesn't seem to like her all that much?

Edited by JSBach, 14 August 2008 - 02:09 AM.


#26 Telemachus

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPip
  • 54 posts

Posted 14 August 2008 - 02:14 AM

View PostJSBach, on Aug 13 2008 6 09 PM, said:

Naming names isn't the point. The mere fact that she runs to a forum to trash a boyfriend after he spent $50 on her reveals her state of mind. State of mind is the point. If she does this on AF, imagine what kind of ungrateful antics she does in real life.

If she has a habit of doing ungrateful things, why should we surprised that this guy doesn't seem to like her all that much?

You do have a point now that you mention it... I mean, nothing wrong to look at things differently or from another perspective.

#27 frisco

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 389 posts

Posted 14 August 2008 - 02:40 AM

maybe u were too rude to cancel the movie plan... maybe he had something special for that moment... it happend to me once... :down so i didnt get what my bf planned...

#28 tiney_baba

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 185 posts

Posted 14 August 2008 - 06:56 AM

View PostBBB, on Aug 12 2008 1 38 PM, said:

Today is my birthday,and I really expected we going to do something special. But it turned out bad. He took me out to eat and planned to go to see a movie. I was really pissed, so I cancel the movie thing and headed home instead. Then he gave me a $50 gift card as a present. Okay, girls please tell me what do u think, boys are welcome to share your thought. Thanks everyone.

P.S I'm 24, and he is 23. It's not that we are young and not having money, but I don't know what going on..I'm not expecting him to buy me any expensive gift, but at least put some thoughts in it.

don't be uber sensitive and don't confused yourself to that.. he must have been thinking what to give you as well and rushed it up.. why can't you accept it like that.. if that's the only thing he could give you why not just accept it.. and appreciate what he gave.. at least he remembers to give you something.. just try to appreciate it..

#29 SUNSH1NE

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPip
  • 27 posts

Posted 14 August 2008 - 04:00 PM

I totally understand where you're coming from b/c I'm as well the sentimental type & I've been dating my boyfriend for over 2yrs. now.. & I always like to have presents where there's thought put into it :D but sometimes it depends on the guy as well.. I mean I love my boyfriend, he treats me like no one else has ever treated and he's just so perfect & yadda yadda but it really DOES depend on the guy!!! b/c my boyfriend is like that as well.. & he told me straight up himself that he doesn't know how to be creative or thoughtful.. I'm just ever more satisfied that he'll make time off to spend the day w/ me on all of my bdays ^^ even if it's as simple as going to the movies & dinner.. which is what has happened before but I appreciated it so much<3. he totally makes up for it by being w/ me whenever he can & treating me as if I'm the person that matters most to him :D and I think it's a guy thing.. they never know what to get a girl lol my bf is always lost & has to ALWAYS ask me for advice when he has to get a presents for one of his friend girls lol it's usually a guy thing & in the genes!!!

#30 QuackieChau

    Asian Fanatic

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,931 posts

Posted 14 August 2008 - 04:51 PM

Or maybe he made plans that fell through at the last minute or made something he couldn't finish in time or botched up at the last minute and didn't want to say anything, so the best he could do was dinner, movie, and a gift card (presumably to a store you liked).

Anyway, you know him better than us. You can write him off as being insensitive or give him the benefit of the doubt. Either way, I don't think it's a deal breaker. Anyway, if he hasn't called you, call HIM. I'd keep it casual. You guys can talk about your bday when you see each other, if you still want to bring it up.

#31 D i A N E

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 823 posts

Posted 16 August 2008 - 07:11 PM

maybe he didn't know what you wanted.. why don't you just ask him..why he got you a gift card... i mean he is your bf..so you should be able to talk to him about anything..

#32 fall_out

    asian-inadequate

  • Banned
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 2,642 posts

Posted 16 August 2008 - 07:20 PM

did he just start dating. if so dont blame him. some guys are that imaginative when they lack experience. 50 dollar gift card? thats what i get ppl usually when i cant think of nothin.

but like, i cant even picture myself giving my girlfriend a gift card. and only 50 bucks? im not trying to be cheap but a 50 dollar gift card is pretty bad.

#33 mango_girl

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 327 posts

Posted 18 August 2008 - 01:48 AM

View PostJSBach, on Aug 13 2008 7 09 PM, said:

Naming names isn't the point. The mere fact that she runs to a forum to trash a boyfriend after he spent $50 on her reveals her state of mind. State of mind is the point. If she does this on AF, imagine what kind of ungrateful antics she does in real life.

If she has a habit of doing ungrateful things, why should we surprised that this guy doesn't seem to like her all that much?


Trashing is really harsh word. People vent about their boyfriends and girlfriends! I just dont think you should be judging her based what she said on the forum. She was upset about one thing and she can't get it off her mind. Maybe she just needs to ask ppl for opinion to see if she's thinking the right path!

Not everyone is gonna think the same way. And sometimes sharing with others will open her mind up to another perspective. So what are you to judge that she's trash talking. And most girls believe in sentimental things rather than just money! she could be getting a 10 dollar gift with some thought in it and i'm sure she'll be more happy than only a 50 dollar gift certificate.

#34 Eclipse

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 128 posts

Posted 18 August 2008 - 09:36 PM

he probably go you a gift card because he didn't know what to get you. not to be rude but it seems to me that your the type of person who is hard to shop for because everything you want you already buy for yourself. and i don't mean that as an insult because i am like that too. with that said he does not have a lot of options. especially since his range was $50. i am assuming if you wanted anything that cost $50 you would have already bought it for yourself. the only things you might not have then are too expensive like designer clothes and electronics.

#35 preciosobaby

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 685 posts

Posted 23 August 2008 - 09:47 PM

gosh considering u guys age...that is a pretty sh*t present * and yupp. pretty obvious he didn't plan at all... but u shouldn't have cancelled....that is really rude but then again it does have its advantages cos it shows you have standards and you dun accept anything less prehaps next time your boyfriend would be threatened to make more of an effort..haha"

#36 Pinkuu

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 670 posts

Posted 23 August 2008 - 11:06 PM

awss.. i totally see where you're coming from. But even if he got me a gift card from somewhere i liked, i wouldn't mind too much but it would be nice to have something 'sweet' as well like even a teddy bear. At least something thoughtful right?
Sometimes we just have to be grateful with what we have. Yes, it wasn;t much but at least he got you something and actually made a 'small' thought of what to do. I'm glad you was honest and told him how you felt, because knowing girls, we try to bottle it all inside us till we can't hold anymore and just lash out on guys.
Just give him some time to calm down because to him it seems like you're really ungrateful. Just try to tell him that it's not that you're ungrateful, it's just that you would have rather him try to get you something because im sure whatever he tried to get you, you would have been happy with it because he put some thought into it. And if he actually got you a gift, then you could remember that birthday by that present.

#37 batmankiller

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPip
  • 30 posts

Posted 24 August 2008 - 02:14 AM

Well unlike a few of the posts, instead of going through the possibilities I'll actually give you ideas on what to do.

Talk to him; tell him what you feel. If you think he won't appreciate you because you expected something more, then well I guess you guys just weren't meant to be. I understand sometimes at the start of relationships you want to keep it passive and not ask for too much or try to be too direct. But if what you said is true, and you guys have been with each other for a year, then you guys should be in a durable spot where you can talk about these things. Of course maybe it is the fact that it was your first birthday together or he just forgot. Did you spend time together where it's his birthday or not really?

#38 cloudxvii

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPip
  • 20 posts

Posted 24 August 2008 - 08:12 AM

Since this happened quite a bit ago [sheesh so many topics are from so long ago], you've prolly already done what you planned to.

Talking to him about it can fix things, or it can ruin things.
If I were a guy, I'd be kind of like 'wtf'. Personally, I feel you're expecting a lot from your boyfriend. 50$ is a good sum. I have not spent 50$ on any girl or guy for a birthday gift - yet. Plans are irrelevant; it is time spent together and enjoying one another's presence that truly defines a relationship, in my opinion.

But, like I said before, it can fix things. He could apologize and just try and make it up :D

Hopefully things went the best for you ;]

#39 greasypeanut

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPip
  • 20 posts

Posted 24 August 2008 - 01:40 PM

too many posts didnt read what anyone else said. i dont know how close you two are, but close enuff that you would call him your bf. but coming from a guy...thats not right. birthdays are only once a year. the stuff u did that, you could have easily done ne other day. and a gift card you could have also gotten from neone. you should ask wtf is up, and see if he even cares.

#40 Purplex

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-n00b
  • Pip
  • 6 posts

Posted 25 August 2008 - 06:51 AM

he must've been so nervous so instead he gave u a giftcard

btw, why is you older than him....





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users