boyfriend pays for everything
Posted 11 December 2009 - 12:23 AM
my boyfriend pays for everything. when we go to eat, movies, days out etc. he's also very serious about repaying the money i spent on us the other day when he couldnt find a cash machine.
since were very comfortable talking about anything, i asked him why he insists on paying for everything, and that i dont mind paying sometimes. he answered he has a very traditional view, and that the guy should pay and take care of the girlfriend. "..yeung lui pan yao" <-- canto, thats the exact phrase he used.
he is abit younger than me and works, while im still a student but works in holidays. im not sure if that has anything to do with it since were in the 21st century..
so guys, what are your views?
girls - do you like being spoilt by boyfriend? or feel you dont need a guy to support you? personally i feel i dont need a guy to pay for things since i was paying for stuff before i had a boyfriend, so it doesnt make a difference.
guys - do you think its normal to pay for girlfriend? does it make you feel you are a 'gentleman' and taking care of you girlfriend?
please also state you ages if you could thanx! im 20 x
Posted 11 December 2009 - 01:08 AM
Posted 11 December 2009 - 02:23 AM
I am 19
Posted 11 December 2009 - 12:34 PM
for a male ego they want to be a man and pays up.
but if you look at in a different angle, in a relationship, it be good for women to pay too.
after all when you both got married, his money is your money, your money is his money, would you like he go broke just because he pays a lot before. and you'd complain you marry the wrong person cause he became poor.
^ its kinda weird way of saying it. but something in those lines.
Posted 11 December 2009 - 07:17 PM
Posted 12 December 2009 - 01:11 AM
Posted 12 December 2009 - 01:55 AM
i guess it just felt wierd cos i dont want to be seen as a female who needs all the support from my boyfriend. i know for sure i can stand on my own two feet, wether i have a boyfriend or not, so for him to pay everything kinda offends me abit. but it probably offends him too if i paid lol or he wouldnt feel 'man' enough if the lady pays haha!!
is that how guys feel?! please share!
Posted 12 December 2009 - 09:26 AM
it'd probably apply if the guy have a huge ego.
i have this experience once, 2 girls, one of them is the girl that i liked, and the other is her friend,
her friend wanted to eat some fast food, me and the other girl, didnt really want to but since were together, we tag along.
at first its agreed upon that we pay for our own share. well it'd be only her own share cause she the only one who wanted to eat. lol.
so i came up to her (this is her friend) and offered to pay, treat her, she refused but i insisted. then suddenly the other girl (one that i liked) suddenly pops out of nowhere behind me and say, i want that and that and that.
i asked her before is she wanted something she didnt say yes, cause she thought that we pay our own share which we all agreed before.
just so happens i decided to pay for her friend cause she's the only one eating, she suddenly wants tihs and that? (cause i pull out my wallet) hehe. funny experience.
Edited by Shun Takashi, 12 December 2009 - 09:27 AM.
Posted 12 December 2009 - 12:31 PM
Posted 12 December 2009 - 12:45 PM
Traditional is usually related to how they were brought up, what they observed and what they would like to preserve. When a person speaks of tradition, take a look at their family and usually they would like to preserve that.
A traditional man, may expect a traditional woman (be very careful about this especially if you don't feel like a traditional woman)
For me, i hang on the tip of my tongue, "As long as she's happy", so most things i do i observe and if i sense some guilt or even see a frown, i would prefer to discuss it and change my ways. I feel happier when what i do doesn't put the person i love in an awkward, guilty or unhappy position. It can't be helped because i'm not perfect but i try not to.
So i wouldn't feel unhappy or offended if they paid for themselves.
Though i do hope things go both ways so that things that i'm not feeling "okay" about, isn't done (a.k.a being paid for)
Posted 12 December 2009 - 11:55 PM
rofl that is too funny. i couldnt do that even if i felt abit jealous. I guess she realised you liked her, and wondered why she doesnt get a treat seen as you are going to pay anyways xD hehe
Posted 14 December 2009 - 08:05 AM
Posted 14 December 2009 - 09:06 AM
Posted 15 December 2009 - 03:10 AM
Posted 26 December 2009 - 09:34 AM
Posted 26 December 2009 - 09:29 PM
Posted 27 December 2009 - 07:54 PM
Personally i dont care, it would be nice if my gf paid for things (which she does) but still does like it how the guy pays for all things, i am lucky to be with her as she understands i pays for things but will go out of her way to look after me, care and do things for me, she really appreciates it. Since she really appreciates it and will do things for me i dont mind beause after all my money is for the both of us etc.
I also like to share things with her so no point keeping it all to myself and being selfish about it.
Posted 13 January 2010 - 12:58 AM
I think it's a pride thing for guys and as a girl seriously speaking would you like to pay for everything really?
I think when a relationship starts to grow and continue later you guys will start spending each others money so its no big deal
Posted 29 January 2010 - 09:22 AM
Posted 29 January 2010 - 05:45 PM
Posted 29 January 2010 - 10:49 PM
Posted 30 January 2010 - 06:46 AM
Posted 02 February 2010 - 10:23 AM
Valentine's Day, the guy should pay, just an act of a gentlemen.
Movies, the guy should also pay (since it's not that expensive only around $15, it's better than having to split the cost and exchange money and give back change, just easier if the guy pays). I mean, movies are pretty much petty stuff, and petty stuff the guy should just step up and pay for it to remove the need to "calculate" who pays what.
But having said that, say sometimes the girl can also pay for some petty stuff, like a quick meal at the mall or some drinks or cheap entry fees to some places ... I mean it's so petty you'd forget who paid for it by the end of the day.
Posted 02 February 2010 - 11:48 AM
afterall, its only money and u shouldnt be going out or treating if u dont have ...once ur out...have fun...nvm saving....
Posted 02 February 2010 - 02:58 PM
If your bf really make big deal about that..and it's keep fussing you, how about you buy him a present instead of pay for him, i think he would be happy plus it's your money spent.
Posted 04 February 2010 - 06:08 AM
but if my boyfriend wants to pay all the time, hey, who am i to refuse?
Posted 17 February 2010 - 08:18 AM
Posted 17 February 2010 - 02:34 PM
Posted 27 February 2010 - 01:38 AM
Personally, I feel weird when someone buys something for me or pays for my dinner. But I think if I had a boyfriend then I would only let him pay if we went out to eat (though I'd probably insist on paying him back for my half or insist on buying dessert if we didn't have it the restaurant...), nothing else. And if we were going to movie, I'd let him pay for the tickets if I could buy the food/drinks or vice versa. That's what I do with my best friend: I always buy the movie tickets, she always buys the popcorn, candy, and drinks (it may not come out evenly, but she has a job and I don't...so she doesn't mind paying a bit more). If he were to insist on buying me something, I'd probably insist on buying him something just so that I don't feel awkward and selfish. I'd probably also buy him little gifts every so often just to show him I appreciate what he does.
Posted 27 February 2010 - 03:16 AM
Posted 27 February 2010 - 03:24 AM
Posted 27 February 2010 - 08:30 AM
Posted 28 February 2010 - 02:09 AM
but i personally wouldnt feel very good
if it kept going
maybe u should talk to him
and tell him to pay for u once in awhile
but yeh it really is your choices
Posted 01 March 2010 - 12:39 AM
Posted 30 March 2010 - 10:49 AM
Posted 30 March 2010 - 12:37 PM
Posted 08 April 2010 - 04:07 PM
While it is incredibly pampering being treated that way but I find it unfair.
To me a relationship is about sharing, giving and receiving. The guy should not always be the one giving. He should also be on the receiving end too!
The ratio for me would be around 6:4/. Sometimes, you just have to let him pay to get that ego boost of feeling needed, dependable and important
It comes quite naturally, actually. It could be a matter of convenience (who has the change, who is closest, who is going to the shops/bar) or like he'll pay for dinner then i'll get him some ice cream later on in the night.
Posted 08 April 2010 - 07:40 PM
Posted 08 April 2010 - 07:55 PM
My last boyfriend was pretty cheap. -__-
he barely ever paid for anything, and sometimes, its like he expects me to pay.
(and he has a job!)
I think in the asian world, its more expected that the guy pays.
i think you're boyfriend is just being polite. (:
Posted 09 April 2010 - 09:42 PM
at first, sure, the guy should pay for all the meals.
but once you start going out, it should be half half or 60-40...
i'd immediately dump a girl who would expect me to pay everytime!!
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