Jump to content

AF needs funding again

- - - - -

I don't know what to do with my life


This topic has been archived. This means that you cannot reply to this topic.
19 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Piesces_*

Guest_Piesces_*
  • Guests

Posted 06 January 2013 - 02:49 PM

Everybody I know has a 5 year plan and they know exactly what they want to do in life.

I'm not one of those people.

I really don't know what I want to do in life.

I don't know what I'm good at.

I don't have any passions or hobbies.

And my family is getting very impatient with me.

They want me to decide now.

#2 Guest_Guest_*

Guest_Guest_*
  • Guests

Posted 06 January 2013 - 03:08 PM

What are your options? Can you choose what ever from where ever or have your parents set some limits for you? What options are available to you?

#3 Guest_Guest_*

Guest_Guest_*
  • Guests

Posted 06 January 2013 - 06:39 PM

I am all for go with the flow.

Have some kind of general direction, ie don't live your life as some kind of floating human amoeba or bum.
But planning rigidly for 5 yrs .... can be much. Sometimes people with too much RIGID expectations, cannot take the unexpected blows in life. when plans go awry.

And you cannot really control the life challenges that come along your way anyway ...coping skills imo, is more importantly than planning.
Learning to be resilent, determined and to have coping abilities to adapt, be resourceful, think out of the box if necc ...... and roll with the punches are skills which seem way more important.

I know a someone under 40 who passed on recently. She was an achiever - student, career woman, filial daughter, super mother (the involved hands on type) ... even to the end - she went after what her last wishes were, once she knew time was running out. All I am sayng is - even in the best of planning - you have no control over the outcome sometimes.
Learn to live for the moment, and enjoy yourself.

#4 Guest_g_*

Guest_g_*
  • Guests

Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:28 PM

I am all for go with the flow.

Have some kind of general direction, ie don't live your life as some kind of floating human amoeba or bum.
But planning rigidly for 5 yrs .... can be much. Sometimes people with too much RIGID expectations, cannot take the unexpected blows in life. when plans go awry.

And you cannot really control the life challenges that come along your way anyway ...coping skills imo, is more importantly than planning.
Learning to be resilent, determined and to have coping abilities to adapt, be resourceful, think out of the box if necc ...... and roll with the punches are skills which seem way more important.

I know a someone under 40 who passed on recently. She was an achiever - student, career woman, filial daughter, super mother (the involved hands on type) ... even to the end - she went after what her last wishes were, once she knew time was running out. All I am sayng is - even in the best of planning - you have no control over the outcome sometimes.
Learn to live for the moment, and enjoy yourself.


You know you aren't a planner and you will never be one, so what exactly do you expect others to say?

#5 RubyPie

RubyPie

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 46 posts

Posted 06 January 2013 - 11:37 PM

Piesces,

That's OK. It's OK to not know. In fact it may be a plus that you don't have everything planned out. Imagine having your next 5 years planned out. Sure, that will give you more stability but it is very unlikely anyone will stick to the plan. As long as you are happy with what you are doing now, that is all that matters. Don't live for others, live for yourself. Choose to do what makes you happy and explore new hobbies and interests.

Best of luck,
Rubypie

#6 p@rty

p@rty

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 431 posts

Posted 07 January 2013 - 01:25 AM

man proposes, god disposes. let nature takes its course

#7 VwGTI

VwGTI

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-n00b
  • Pip
  • 3 posts

Posted 07 January 2013 - 01:55 AM

join the club ... Not sure how old you are but I'm graduating from college in a few months and still don't know what to do.. not even interested in the major I chose and have done nothing to contribute to working towards it..

If I was you I'd try and do something you were passionate about because life is short .. don't want to be stuck doing something you dislike

#8 Meow ♡

Meow ♡

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 1302 posts

Posted 07 January 2013 - 04:15 AM

Just go with the flow. Party and have fun because life is too short.

#9 MichaelD

MichaelD

    Asian Fanatic

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 2250 posts

Posted 07 January 2013 - 02:34 PM

Whatever you decide to do just make sure you at least like what it is ,,,,you dont want to look back on life in 20 years and just hate what you do man that would SUCK ASS !!!

#10 Guest_okillas Vanwinkie_*

Guest_okillas Vanwinkie_*
  • Guests

Posted 07 January 2013 - 07:25 PM

Start college and take those general classes like math and English. Find out what major you want to complete. Even if you don't know what career you want, just choose the one that will give you a stable job and support you. After that, get married or start life the way that you wanted. There are so many things that you need to experience before you know if you like it or not. So write down a list of things that you want to accomplish. It is important to have a good job because that's where you get the money to do what you like. Participate in events, activities, sports, etc. When you have the money, go buy a car, house, vacation package, tv, message chair, computer, or anything expensive that will reward you for your hard work. So study hard and make money. Without any money, you will be lost and don't know what to do.

#11 Guest_survival_*

Guest_survival_*
  • Guests

Posted 07 January 2013 - 09:06 PM

Start college and take those general classes like math and English. Find out what major you want to complete. Even if you don't know what career you want, just choose the one that will give you a stable job and support you. After that, get married or start life the way that you wanted.


I wa nodding with you until that last line. No, do NOT get married or have kids for the sake of getting married. Or because you think you should be doing it because everyone else is.Think it over very carefully, and honestly.

Marriage and commitment comes with its price ... and with kids - a lifetime of responsbilities, and worries. Say what if your child had developmental challenges? It's not like keeping a pet.

Dating and living together is way different. As a single, you can still walk out unscathed, work out any residual emotional baggage and carry on as a free unburdened soul.

Without any money, you will be lost and don't know what to do.


WITH money, or knowing there is always a big safety net behind regardless ... you can also be bred to be too content and complacent, too cushy to be really competitive and focused, ambitious or survivalist in any workplace or situation. ie whatever. it's ok to let others win.

It's people who have been starved, hungry and need to address that future hunger ahead .... who really know how to undercut, be underhand, push or get ahead.

#12 BeInspired

BeInspired

    -{Life is your melody}-

  • Forum Seniors
  • 6210 posts

Posted 10 January 2013 - 12:02 PM

how old are you now? and what kind of decisions are you talking about?

you can't just decide right off the bat especially when you're clueless about your passions/interests/whatever. There are people who go about blahblalh their 5-year plan but how many of them actually managed to get what they wanted after that 5 years?

I would rather go with the flow. Yes, have a plan, but not a very detailed you-must-follow plan. Your own 5-year plan is merely just a guideline for you. For example, in my case, I want to take up an internship overseas for 3 months, but before that I need to work here for 2 years. It doesn't matter what kind of job I end up taking, the main thing is that you know that somewhere somehow, you will reach your goal eventually. 4 years ago, one of my friends had her own plan, a plan too ambitious. She wanted to earn at least 7k by then she turns 27. Now she's 23, just graduated, earning a measly 2.1k despite asking for salary of 3k. The market is bad, and she didn't take that into account when she planned.

#13 MichaelD

MichaelD

    Asian Fanatic

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 2250 posts

Posted 10 January 2013 - 02:14 PM

I oso feel lost and painful every time i wake up in the morning. the best is to sleep more and forget everything unhappy.


f*ck that STOP hiding from the world who cares if you dont have a plan today,, it might become clear on Friday,,,,never give up never back down,,,,,,dont waste your life away being afraid of " WHAT IF" get up and go go go :)

#14 nomad 822

nomad 822

    Asian Fanatic

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 2155 posts

Posted 10 January 2013 - 08:46 PM

how old are you now? and what kind of decisions are you talking about?

There are people who go about blahblalh their 5-year plan but how many of them actually managed to get what they wanted after that 5 years?

I would rather go with the flow. Yes, have a plan, but not a very detailed you-must-follow plan. Your own 5-year plan is merely just a guideline for you. For example, in my case, I want to take up an internship overseas for 3 months, but before that I need to work here for 2 years. It doesn't matter what kind of job I end up taking, the main thing is that you know that somewhere somehow, you will reach your goal eventually. 4 years ago, one of my friends had her own plan, a plan too ambitious. She wanted to earn at least 7k by then she turns 27. Now she's 23, just graduated, earning a measly 2.1k despite asking for salary of 3k. The market is bad, and she didn't take that into account when she planned.



Go with the flow flexible general goals = YES.

Inflexible 5 yr plan = you're your own worst enemy. And setting yourself up for dissappointment if you don't meet those targets, or things don't go accordingly.

And those plans ... sometimes you think you want these paths. But once you actually get to step on those paths ... you actually don't like what you're doing, what is involved or the situations you didn't pre-empt when you made those plans/goals.

Knowing how to create detours from those 'concrete' plans, and adapt IS to me way more important.

You can set smaller challenge goals for yourself which build character, determination and strength.
For eg - when jogging - even when you're about to call it quits .... tell yourself you can make it to the next lampost, then push on to the next 3, and tell yourself you can do it to the 10th one before you finally stop. And tomorrow maybe pushing on to the 12th lamppost ... once your endurance point has been reached.

And prove it to yourself, and actually do it. If you don't do succeed ... try harder the next day. Or lower the target number. Your mindset and knowing within yourself that "I can do it" is more important to me, than setting lofty goals = ie knowing what you're capable of.

It's not merely stamina training, it' also mental training. Same for swimming, any kind of other activity.

You don't need rigid 5 yr plans to govern your life.
As pp (Soul Reaper) has said ... some of this planning is not within your control either - life challenges, situational changes and such.

Knowing how to be adaptable, flexible, resourceful (think of other alternatives, if plans fail) and rolling with the punches are way more important skills to cultivating imo.

Edited by nomad 822, 10 January 2013 - 08:52 PM.


#15 mushr00m

mushr00m

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • AF-newbie
  • PipPip
  • 20 posts

Posted 09 March 2013 - 06:30 AM

what i found that was very helpful is you really need to sit down and write this plans out, brain storm ideas, ask your self questions and think deeeply about and jot down what comes to mind.
Look at what you want to achieve personally, financially, professioally (job, school), family, life, relationships, health etc... just keep jotting it down and hopefully that will hep you out. set a target, and deadline time when you want to achieve and what steps you need to take to get from point A to B. Mind you life passes by really fast so why not make use of time.

#16 sterlingbeauty

sterlingbeauty

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 97 posts

Posted 09 March 2013 - 10:58 AM

i wanna do some things in my life but my legs are tied.

#17 nomad 822

nomad 822

    Asian Fanatic

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 2155 posts

Posted 09 March 2013 - 04:41 PM

I find that people don't ever really lose their childhood passions - what did you love doing when you were a kid ... somewhere in there is your career.

True = would be writing, and dancing, but often you don't see it as clearly as a kid.

And sometimes personality gets in the way - I used to draw loads of fashion designing stuff just for fun and they were pretty forward and looked avante-garde pro for their time back then too.
But to even think about studying further and surviving in that industry/territory ... forget it - I don't have the personality for it.

#18 Guest_legoman_*

Guest_legoman_*
  • Guests

Posted 09 March 2013 - 06:58 PM

Everybody I know has a 5 year plan and they know exactly what they want to do in life.

I'm not one of those people.

I really don't know what I want to do in life.


I notice this is the first thing he said. I hate when everyone thinks like that ... the answer is not always in a 5 year plan. Things can change, so no one has to be "too solid and absolute" about it

It's just like "career planning" ... and look how many people go to college or university, and they don't always get into the field they want, or drop out

Planning ahead is okay sometimes ... but if you don't really know what you want ... you have to start somewhere

Take some time to think about what you really want ... maybe sometimes the answer is in your hobby, or some kind of interest or passion you have ... and if you don't have any, look at / watch or listen
to something inspirational (maybe a video, like on Youtube, or art, blog, music, sports, etc.) or start working somewhere and see where it goes, whether it be a job, volunteer work, or internship

Or just try to take up some kind of skill and try to roll with it, see how it works out. Something that motivates you, moves your body or mind, etc.

Try something, explore (and I don't mean drugs ... stay off drugs and alcohol, that won't help), take an interest, and join some kind of group or organization ... somewhere to start

Even if it's not the direct answer you're looking for ... it might somehow lead to what you want someday, just start somewhere or doing something. The thing is to be active, and have some kind of goal
or purpose for doing it.


I find that people don't ever really lose their childhood passions - what did you love doing when you were a kid ... somewhere in there is your career.


what would you say, if someone's childhood hobby included Lego? and I don't mean construction, making buildings, houses, vehicles ... already thought of that ... any other ideas?

#19 Guest_legoman_*

Guest_legoman_*
  • Guests

Posted 09 March 2013 - 07:58 PM

I was more abstract, but I have an interest in design and technical stuff, just not anything 'too highly complex" ... but I would like to know how to build things and / or how they
function and work, and how to improve on the function, purpose or design whether it's something technical new or new purpose

#20 SassyViet

SassyViet

    faq.asianfanatics.net

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 724 posts

Posted 10 March 2013 - 01:19 AM

To OP,
It's a rare person who has no interest or hobby. There must be at least one thing you're interested in. But still that doesn't always translate to a career or whether the interest in strong enough to become a career. What classes do you enjoy the most and what are you good at? Maybe you can tell us so we can offer some suggestions.

You should have goals and plans but for some a career takes a long time to arrive so be patient with yourself.